


all the time in the world (to get it right)

by bysine



Series: odd couple buddies [5]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: But Also An AU, Comedy, Dimension Travel, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Social Media, Spider-Verse inspired, Superhero Hijinks, odd couple buddy tragicomedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 20:57:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19093003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bysine/pseuds/bysine
Summary: “I'm sorry, have we met?” Peter replies, while trying to figure out why Mask Dude has so many things that look like Christmas tree baubles strapped around his belt, and also why everything is on fire.“My bad, I forgot I'm wearing this thing,” says Mask Dude, gesturing at his frankly terrifying headgear. He spreads his arms wide. “It’s me, Harry Osborn! So good to see you, my man! Hey — would you do me a solid and pretend to be my hostage for a bit? I'm trying to destroy the guy who killed my dad—”“Harry, step away from that pyjama child,” says someone else, someone who soundsreally familiar—Someone dressed like Spider-man leaps through the air and webs up Mask Dude's arms, before twisting mid-air, changing direction and webbing Peter.





	all the time in the world (to get it right)

**Author's Note:**

> Endgame spoilers like right off the bat!

> `**BBC News (World)** @BBCWorld`  
>  `Where Do We Go From Here? Rebuilding a post-Thanos, post-Return world bbc.in/2ZQ2OTC`

> `**CNN** @cnn`  
>  `Tributes continue to pour in weeks after the death of Tony Stark cnn.it/2RQMQ2B`

Nothing’s really the same, of course. 

It’s considered normal, now, if someone tears up during AP Chemistry and asks to be excused for the rest of the morning. They gather for academic decathlon on Tuesday afternoons, but half of the old team have graduated and are in college now. Mr Harrington spends the first meeting reading them excerpts from a book of poetry that he'd workshopped and self-published in the intervening five years. (“Why are we here if they're not even sure there are nationals this year?” Cindy Moon asks in the middle of a particularly heartfelt prose poem about empty chairs, only to be glared into silence by MJ.)

Down the hallway, the clubs and societies bulletin board has been repurposed as ‘Midtown High's Check In Corner’, which students have been encouraged to fill with post-its that complete the sentence, ‘I feel____’. There are a couple of joke ones, but a lot are also scarily honest, like ‘I feel like my Mom is a stranger now’, or ‘I feel scared that it'll happen again’. At least ten of them say something like, ‘I feel sad that Iron Man died’. Also, Ned is absolutely certain that he saw Flash Thompson write ‘I feel worried about why Spider-man hasn't come back yet’.

Peter doesn't put up a post it. He doesn't do much of anything at all, really. 

After school, he sits in the room that May has kept the same for five years and mostly just stares out of the window. He certainly doesn't look at the two suits stuffed at the back of his closet — not the spaceworthy new one that’d been badly damaged during the final fight with Thanos’ army, and definitely not the first one Mr Stark had given him, which is missing its mask after Peter had dropped it while falling off the flying donut spaceship. 

The news cycle fills with reports about how the Falcon is now Captain America and what everyone else thinks about it. Peter just thinks back to that first fight at the airport in Berlin, and wonders at how far away it feels, like it happened in another life. 

“Do you think you'll ever…” Ned says, while he's lying on Peter's bed one afternoon Instagram stalking all their old classmates who hadn't been snapped. 

“Ever what?” Peter says, pausing in the middle of the only _Assassin’s Creed_ game to be released in the past five years.

Ned cranes his head to look at Peter. “I don't know, be Spider-man again?” 

Peter says nothing, just makes his character perform a leap of faith into a nearby haystack.

“But it's cool if you don't want to talk about it,” says Ned, returning to his phone.

They sit in silence for a while, as Ned continues scrolling and Peter tries and fails to assassinate a wealthy merchant in a crowded Chang'an street. 

A city guard stabs Peter's character to death. Peter sets down his controller. 

“I don't have a suit,” he says, even though it’s really not about the suit. But it's easier to say that than to try to describe what that final battle was like, or the awful silence _after_ , when Ms Potts had turned her face away from them and wept.

Peter glances over at Ned and hates how concerned he looks, how he's wearing that same expression of uncomprehending worry that May gets when she thinks Peter’s not watching. But Ned maybe understands Peter better than Peter gives him credit for, because he just shrugs, says, “Fair point,” and volunteers to help Peter look up _Assassin’s Creed_ easter eggs.

Later, after Ned has gone home, Peter cracks open the door of his closet. 

At first he reaches for the metal suit, which had collapsed back into something approximately the size and shape of a laptop when he’d finally taken it off at the makeshift medical tent. It reminds him too much of space, though, of the dirt and rock of Titan and the scorched rubble of the Avengers facility. So instead he pushes aside a pile of clean socks and pulls out his old suit, the one Mr Stark had officially given him after Berlin. It sags in his hands, dull with dirt and use and worn in places from all the falls and scrapes Peter has been in. And Peter feels sick all of a sudden, his limbs prickling electric and cold at the same time, bright spots exploding in his vision —

Something is very wrong.

“May,” Peter calls urgently, turning towards the door even as the world lurches on its axis and flings him sideways, “ _May_ —”

> `**Spectrum News NY1** @NY1`  
>  `Where is the Spider-man? Queens’ own crime stopper still missing ny1ne.ws/FiRjDj`

* * *

**The Daily Bugle** @dailybugle  
Masked Menace Damages Property… Yet Again!! bug.le/9dVrLa

He slams head-first into someone. They both go flying through the air before crashing into a row of shelves 

“Oh no, I'm so sorry,” Peter says, trying to untangle himself from the person he's currently crushing, while pens and granola bars rain onto them. He orientates himself as quickly as he can — he’s in some sort of office, and something smells like it's burning. Also there's huge zappy blue portal just casually spinning along from a device on top of someone's desk.

“Oh my God is that you, Pete?” says the person Peter's just crashed into. “You still work here?”

Peter turns and sees that said person is wearing some kind of green exoskeleton and mask. 

“I'm sorry, have we met?” Peter replies, while trying to figure out why Mask Dude has so many things that look like Christmas tree baubles strapped around his belt, and also why everything is on fire.

“My bad, I forgot I'm wearing this thing,” says Mask Dude, gesturing at his frankly terrifying headgear. He spreads his arms wide. “It’s me, Harry Osborn! So good to see you, my man! Hey - would you do me a solid and pretend to be my hostage for a bit? I'm trying to destroy the guy who killed my dad—”

“Harry, step away from that pyjama child,” says someone else, someone who sounds _really familiar_ —

Someone dressed like Spider-man leaps through the air and webs up Mask Dude's arms, before twisting mid-air, changing direction and webbing Peter. Before Peter can do anything, he’s yanked through the air and deposited behind a desk at the far end of the lab.

“Stay here, kid,” Spider-man tells him. Then the eyes of his mask widen. “Holy shit —”

“Behind you!” Peter shouts. They both duck in time to avoid the vortex device thing Harry Osborn just threw at them. It bounces into the wall, sparks a bit, and then blasts back on again, sucking someone’s five finger shoes into its unknowable void in the process.

“Did he just throw —” Peter begins.

“...his own device at us?” Spider-man finishes, and it's unmistakably _Peter’s voice_ that he's speaking with. They both pause, equally stunned.

Mask Dude has, in the meantime, climbed onto a nasty looking hoverboard thing. “You're not going to stop me this time, Spider-man!” he snarls, “I'll get my father back and together we'll crush you all—”

“Oh for fuck's sake,” mutters Spider-man under his breath. He turns back to Peter. “Give me one sec and then we can figure this out, alright?”

He launches off the table without waiting for Peter’s reply, webbing the bottom of Mask Dude's glider on the way up. His feet barely touch the ceiling before he kicks off of it, flipping the glider from under Mask Dude and twisting round to dropkick Mask Dude straight in the chest. 

Peter realises his mouth has fallen open, and shuts it. 

“Hey, catch this,” says Spider-man, wrestling something from Mask Dude's fist and tossing it over to Peter. “Find a way to switch that thing off!”

Peter catches it, and turns it over in his hand. It’s a token the size of car key, with two buttons that Mask Dude has helpfully labelled. 

Then Peter reads the labels. 

“Um, should I press the one that says ‘party time’, or the one that says ‘beam me up, scotty’?” he asks, while Spider-man dodges three knives Mask Dude flings at him and webs up a desk to throw back.

“Ha,” says Mask Dude, ripping through the desk. “You’ll never guess—”

“Definitely hit the one that doesn’t have ‘party’ on it,” shouts Spider-man, flipping onto the ceiling to avoid being beheaded by Mask Dude's glider. 

Peter does, and the device shuts off.

“Nice work.” Spider-man fires a quick succession of web grenades at Mask Dude, pinning him to a filing cabinet.

“You'll never win,” Mask Dude snarls. “You'll never stop me, Spider-man!”

Spider-man sighs. “You look pretty stopped to me, dude,” he says, poking around one of the few unsmashed desks. “What a mess, doesn't anyone use post-its these days—”

It happens in a split second, both Peter’s and Spider-man's spidey senses going off barely a moment before. It's the only reason why they're able to leap clear when Mask Dude's hoverboard thing spontaneously explodes.

\---

 **The Atlantic** | Photos of the Week: Wakanda Celebrates, Space Selfies, Kakapo Rescue

 _Two Latverian students discover a new vaccine; fashion in New Asgard; a Kronan finds rock stardom; and much more._  
**Hints:** view this page full screen. Skip to the next or previous photo by hitting the right and left arrows.

[Photo]  
1\. NASA hosts a special ceremony to honour Captain America Samuel Wilson for his successful recovery of the NASA spacecraft previously stolen by Loki Odinson.

[Photo]  
3\. Wakandan Prime Minister Nakia gives a press conference as chair of the World Council of Interplanetary Relations, to reveal Earth's participation in the General Assembly of the Universal Transportation Network six months ago on Centauri IV.

[Photo]  
4\. A selfie on Centauri IV by Earth's delegation to the General Assembly of the Universal Transportation Network: (from left) Captain America Sam Wilson, General Okoye of Wakanda, and King of Asgard Thor Odinson.

[Photo]  
7\. Wanda Maximoff levitates out of her Fiat 500 to intervene in a Green Goblin attack at Stark Industries’ Manhattan office.

\---

Peter comes to in the back seat of a moving vehicle. He's blindfolded and his hands have been webbed together, but someone's also given him a neck pillow and helped fasten his seatbelt, so it doesn't exactly feel like it's a kidnapping.

“Could you maybe _not_ point your gun at him like that,” says someone in the front seat. That's Peter's own voice, so it must be the Spider-man from earlier.

“I'm just being cautious, pal,” someone sitting beside Peter replies. He sounds grumpy and weirdly familiar, but before Peter can figure it out, a third voice — a woman's, from the driver's seat — chimes in.

“You know what they say about doppelgangers,” she says.

“Look,” says the man next to Peter, “if you just read his mind like I asked you to, just to _check_ —”

This appears to hit a nerve, because Spider-man and the driver lady both explode at the same time,

“—can't just go around reading minds without permission, and also I was kind of occupied with _driving away from the news cameras_ in case you didn't notice—”

“—what part of ‘I saw him shoot out of that portal with my own eyes’ do you guys not understand—”

“Alright, alright,” says Grumpy. “I'm just saying it would be easier.”

There is silence for a while. Then the driver lady says: “Pete will you hand me my latte.”

“Okay,” says Spider-man. There's the squeak of a coffee cup being pulled from a cup holder. “I got you one as well, Bucky.”

“Thanks, pal,” says Grumpy, and that's when Peter realises he's being _held at gunpoint by the Winter Soldier_.

“Thank Wanda, I used her loyalty points for these,” Spider-man replies.

 _Scarlet Witch_ is driving the car.

The Winter Soldier nudges Peter’s shoulder. “Hey, are you done pretending to be asleep?”

Peter stiffens. 

“Yeah, I can see you wriggling around,” the Winter Soldier continues.

“I think you should just take off his blindfold, seriously,” says Scarlet Witch.

The Winter Soldier sighs. “What's the point of blindfolding a fella if you're just going to take it off the moment he regains consciousness?” he says, but he also reaches over and tugs off Peter's blindfold.

Peter blinks, adjusting to the sunlight. They're on a highway in an incredibly small car, and the Winter Soldier is wearing Captain America's uniform.

“Isn’t the Falcon supposed to be Captain America?” Peter blurts out, because he apparently has no sense of self preservation.

The Winter Soldier shakes his head. “I've been asking myself this every day for the past six months, pal.”

“Hey, how are you feeling?” asks Spider-man, craning round to look at Peter. Spider-man is still wearing his mask, and now that he's not in motion Peter sees that his suit looks slightly different from Peter's, darker and with a larger proportion of blue than red. “What’s your name?”

“I'm - I'm Peter,” Peter replies. “Peter Parker.”

“Doppelgangers,” Scarlet Witch mutters darkly, exiting the freeway one-handed while sipping on her latte.

“Okay, this is weird but we'll roll with it,” says Spider-man. “How old are you? What year is it where you've come from?”

“I'm seventeen—”

“You a skrull, kid?” interrupts the Winter Soldier. “Some other kind of alien?”

“Okay, great,” says Spider-man, “I guess we’re turning this into an interrogation now.” 

Peter shakes his head. “No - uh, what's a skrull?”

The Winter Soldier reaches into the duffle bag he's got on his lap (the space is so narrow that it's essentially wedged between his chest and the back of the seat in front of him, and pulls out Peter's suit. “What's this?”

“It’s my suit. Mr Stark - Tony Stark gave it to me,” Peter says, trying to reach for it with his webbed hands.

“Sorry, pal, I gotta hold on to this for now,” the Winter Soldier tells him. “So you're Spider-man as well?”

“Yeah, I am — I mean, I was? But after we got back from the Snap I haven't — well…” Peter trails off, feeling suddenly exhausted. “It's hard to explain.”

“When you say, ‘the Snap’,” says Spider-man slowly, “what exactly do you mean?” 

The car is turning, now, onto a very familiar driveway, which leads into a very familiar compound. The last time Peter had been there, it had been reduced to rubble and dust. 

Now the Avengers facility stands intact and gleaming in the sunset. 

“Thanos,” says Peter. “You mean you guys don't remember Thanos?”

“We do,” the Winter Soldier replies, as Scarlet Witch stops the car right outside the main entrance. “But why do I get the feeling things turned out very differently wherever you're from?”

He’s interrupted by someone knocking on the car window closest to Scarlet Witch. 

She winds it down. 

“So are you guys going to let me run some scans already,” comes a voice that makes Peter’s heart leap in his chest. “Or are you just planning to keep sitting inside the world’s tiniest car? Because I don’t know if you’ve heard but Harry Osborn just blew up part of one of my labs again and—”

“Tony,” Scarlet Witch says. 

Mr Stark leans down to peer inside the car, and catches sight of Peter. “Well I never.” 

\---

**fyeahjbbarnes**

[Photo]

[Photo]

jbb arriving at stark industries building to help with rescue efforts

#jbb is the hero we don't deserve #spidey #captain barnes #wanda maximoff: badass witch

  **buckybear**  
  okay unpopular opinion but i really miss the days when he wasn't cap, he looks really miserable in the suit tbh

    **marconi**  
    You're not the only one who feels that way! Waiting for Sam Wilson’s return!!

      **suchafullsea**       ngl but fal!cap is my favourite cap (sorry OG cap)

  **mockingbird**  
  OMG have you guys seen these pics here because it looks like one of the guys they're carrying out is Roommate Pete???

    **fyeahjbbarnes**  
    Yes I think that's really Roommate Pete: here's a pic from another angle :(

      **suchafullsea**  
      NOBODY TOUCH MY SWEET ANGLE CINNAMON ROLL!!!!! Really really hope he's okay

        **marconi**  
        no wonder jbb looks so upset :((((( hope Roommate Pete is okay :((((((

\---

As it turns out, there _is_ an Avengers protocol for when someone’s doppleganger mysteriously comes through a supervillain's interdimensional portal. 

“Not specifically in those terms, but I did have FRIDAY run the scenario at some point,” says Mr Stark, while Peter stands inside a glass box and gets scanned head to toe by different-coloured beams. 

Mr Stark doesn't look all that different from the Mr Stark Peter remembers, apart from the hint of grey at his temples that Mr Stark probably keeps because it makes him look distinguished. And Peter can't help it, he just stares and stares because he couldn't have imagined ever seeing Mr Stark again like this. He looks relaxed — more so than Peter can ever recall seeing, in his tartan room slippers and a t-shirt with some kind of whale on it (‘ _save our gardens 2024_ ’, it reads), chewing absently on a piece of dried fruit while he examines Peter’s suit. 

Over in a corner of the lab, Scarlet Witch and the Winter Soldier are having a huddled conference with the other Peter, who has taken off his mask and pulled on a ratty old ESU hoodie over his suit.

“—get Sam or Thor to see if the portal switch is anything like the one Loki was trying to use—” Scarlet Witch is saying, while the Winter Soldier cracks open a jar of peanut butter that he’s produced from somewhere.

“I think it happened after I stuck my arm in there for a second while wrestling for the switch,” other Peter says. He catches the spoon the Winter Soldier tosses to him and digs it into the jar. “Too bad Harry made off with the actual device.”

“We can track him down,” says the Winter Soldier, managing to sound menacing even around a mouthful of peanut butter. 

The scanner makes a series of beeping noises and switches itself off.

“Hi,” calls Peter, “I think this thing is done.”

“Oh, sorry,” says other Peter, hurrying over to poke at the scanner readings. He opens the door of the scanning box and holds out his spoonful of peanut butter. “Want some?” 

“Um, I'm good, I think,” Peter says.

“Okay great, ‘cause I'm starving,” other Peter replies, and pops it into his mouth. 

Close up, it’s clear that other Peter definitely _is_ Peter, but he's definitely also older than Peter. There's a hardness to the angles of his face; the beginnings of a semi-permanent brow furrow. 

“What did I say about food near the scanning apparatus?” calls Mr Stark.

“ _Mmph_ ,” other Peter replies, waving one hand dismissively.

“I’m sorry, was that your abject apology I didn't quite catch?” Mr Stark says, sidling over to look at the scanner readings together with other Peter, who laughs and rolls his eyes.

“Well, congratulations,” Mr Stark tells Peter. “It says you’re a human.”

Peter gives him a weak thumbs up. “Hooray.”

“And this is interesting,” other Peter says. “It’s reading a different dimensional signature.” 

“You mean… like a parallel universe?” asks Peter. 

“More like a divergence, actually,” says Mr Stark, pushing his glasses onto his forehead. He holds up Peter's suit. “I made this. It’s the same suit, down to the last thread. But some time after that, something changed.” He looks over at Peter. “You said it’s 2023, where you’re from?”

“Yeah,” Peter replies. 

“And you're seventeen.”

“Uh, well, everything’s kind of messed up after half of everyone got snapped away for five years.”

“So Thanos got all the stones?” says the Winter Soldier, coming over with his jar.

“Yeah,” says Peter, “Mr Stark — you, uh, built some kind of a time machine to get them back, and the Avengers unsnapped everyone, and... ” he pauses, and realises that he can’t find the words to say it.

“I built a _time machine_ ,” repeats Mr Stark, managing to look both incredulous and pleased at the same time.

“If you don’t mind,” says Scarlet Witch slowly, “do you think I could have a look, Peter?” 

“What — like, inside my head?” asks Peter. 

“Yes,” says Scarlet Witch, “but only if you’re okay with it.” 

“You really don't have to, though,” says other Peter.

“Uh, sure,” Peter replies, because maybe they’ll stop thinking he might be a skrull after that. 

“You might want to be seated for this, kid,” says the Winter Soldier, pulling up a chair.

Scarlet Witch hands other Peter her coffee cup, and reaches round to touch Peter on the forehead. 

It must not be for more than a second, but in that moment Peter sees all that she sees: Mr Stark getting the door after Berlin. Peter's plummet off the donut ship and the suit catching him midair. Titan, in the dust. Finding Mr Stark in the chaos of the battle. Captain Marvel standing over Peter as he clutches the gauntlet to his chest. 

And finally — Mr Stark amidst the rubble, the words ‘we won’ so hollow in Peter’s mouth. 

Scarlet Witch pulls away like she’s burned. There are tears in her eyes. Peter realises his cheeks are wet, too.

The room is silent for a very long time.

“I'm starting to suspect that the time machine is maybe the high point of what went down,” says Mr Stark.

“Tony,” says Scarlet Witch, her voice trembling. “I think you died.”

“Is that right?” the Winter Soldier asks Peter.

Peter looks from the Winter Soldier to Mr Stark and, to his horror, feels tears sting his eyes again. “Um,” he says, blinking hard in the mad hope that he will please _not cry_. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“Huh,” says Mr Stark after a pause, looking down at the suit in his hands. “There’s a sobering thought.” 

\---

DEADLINE | TV | BREAKING NEWS  
**Susanna White to direct HBO’s ‘Captain America’ mini-series**  
By Dan Davis

Emmy-nominated and BAFTA-winning director Susanna White ( _Generation Kill_ , _Parade's End_ ) has boarded HBO's upcoming mini-series ‘Captain America’ as Producing Director and Executive Producer.

White will direct multiple episodes of the series, which will trace Captain America Steve Rogers’ journey starting from the Second World War possibly up to the events of the 2018 Thanos attacks. John Krasinsky ( _The Office_ , _A Quiet Place_ ), who played Steve Rogers in Patty Jenkins’ _Spider-man_ , will reprise the role, with Richard Madden ( _Bodyguard_ , _Rocketman_ ) also returning as James Buchanan ‘Bucky’ Barnes.

 

The AV Club | AVNEWS  
**It's “Jim Rogers” vs Dwight Schrute in this excellent mash-up of _Captain America_ and _The Office_**  
By April Maye

As it turns out, it's not too much of a stretch of the imagination to envision a reality in which Captain America Steve Rogers, fresh out of the ice, is given the mission of adjusting to modern life by spending time as a mild-mannered paper salesman at Dunder Mifflin. But the fight comes to him in the form of nemesis Dwight Schrute in this brilliantly edited mash-up of footage from _The Office_ and the trailer for HBO’s upcoming _Captain America_. Because hey, if you string together enough clips of Dwight looking furtive, splice in some explosions, and set it to Imagine Dragons’ _Friction_ , it really does start to seem like Dwight might be a secret Hydra agent.

\---

Evidently, the only reasonable response to finding out about the near-destruction of half the universe is to head out for pancakes. 

Which they do, mostly because the Winter Soldier and other Peter are still hungry from the post-fight adrenaline crash. Also, War Machine is back in town after a mission in Latveria. 

“Listen, I’m all for experiencing local cuisines but this was two weeks of potatoes in _everything_ ,” War Machine says, while the Winter Soldier tells the server that yes, they really do want that many servings of scrambled eggs. 

They must be regulars at this diner, which is just ten minutes’ drive from the Avengers Facility, because nobody has paid them any notice at all, not even when War Machine landed right outside the window in a cloud of dust and repulsor flares.

“Rhodey, did you know that there’s a parallel-or-maybe-divergent dimension in which I figured out _time travel_?” Mr Stark says, withholding War Machine’s coffee in order to get his attention.

“I heard you the first time, man,” says War Machine, grabbing for the coffee mug. 

“Also, I’m dead there.” 

War Machine sighs. “I heard you the second time, too.”

Scarlet Witch levitates the coffee out of Mr Stark’s hand and back into the possession of War Machine. “I can’t tell if you’re more upset about being dead, or excited about time travel,” she tells Mr Stark.

“Roller coaster of emotions here,” Mr Stark replies. “I’m experiencing the highs and lows all at the same time.”

“This must feel really weird,” other Peter tells Peter in an undertone. Other Peter is still wearing the suit so that there’s no chance of someone inadvertently taking a photo of two Peters coexisting at the same time. He's rolled up the mask, though, just enough that he can scarf down the first of the two breakfast sandwiches in front of him. 

“Yeah, well, I mean—” Peter begins. He pauses to take in, once again, the sight of Mr Stark holding together two napkins and sugar tube in an attempt to illustrate a Mobius strip (“I know what a Mobius strip is, Tony,” War Machine says, half weary and half amused). He can’t even begin to describe what he’s feeling right now, joy and yearning and desperate hope all at the same time. And fear too, he realises — that if he closes his eyes, this will all fall away. 

“Eggs,” says the Winter Soldier, depositing a plate in front of Peter. 

“Thanks, uh, Mr Soldier — I mean, Cap—” Peter begins.

The Winter Soldier sighs. “Call me Bucky, kid,” he says. “And I don’t plan to be Captain America any longer than I have to be.” 

“How’s Sam, anyway?” asks War Machine. 

“He’s doing fine,” says the Winter Soldier, “apart from being a convalescent pain my ass, that is.” 

Peter takes a first bite of the scrambled eggs, and realises exactly how hungry he really is. 

“Sam had to get surgery for his ruptured ACL,” other Peter tells Peter.

“But not before _blasting off into space_ when what he was supposed to be doing was pre-surgery rehab,” says the Winter Soldier, stabbing a piece of bacon with his fork. “And what does he get for that? A damn medal from NASA.”

“And we got Captain Grouchy for three months extra,” Scarlet Witch adds, in the tones of someone who has heard this exact rant countless times.

“The fella sends me after action notes like, ‘ _Why aren't you using the shield to your best advantage_ ’,” the Winter Soldier continues, stacking a plate of pancakes on top of Peter's empty plate. “How about because I have a metal arm and also it's none of your damn business, pal?”

“Thanks,” Peter says, gratefully digging in.

“That's what happens when you ask,” Mr Stark explains to War Machine. “You set him off. He's a hundred-year-old man who just wants to make armoires.”

“I'm a hundred and nine, _Anthony_ ,” says the Winter Soldier. “And don't try to pretend you weren't the one who sent Sam that cutting edge Starktech knee brace.”

Mr Stark holds up his hands, forkful of pancake in one of them. “Guilty as charged,” he says. “Although if I'd known he was going to wear that thing to space, I'd have made a few tweaks.”

“Did Thor and General Okoye get medals as well?” asks Scarlet Witch. 

“I think General Okoye got a national holiday in Wakanda named after her,” says War Machine. “First Wakandan in deep space.”

Mr Stark starts to say something about how Thor can simply award himself a Star of Asgard or whatever they usually do, but Peter doesn't catch all of it because his mind starts to drift. Maybe he shouldn't have had so many pancakes. His eyes are so heavy and he’s now so full and—

Someone is shaking his shoulder gently. “Hey kid, it's time to go.”

Peter jerks awake with a start. He's fallen asleep over a last segment of pancake. The rest of the table has been cleared.

For a disoriented moment he looks round and can't seem to find Mr Stark. There's only War Machine and Scarlet Witch sitting across from him and the Winter Soldier with his hand on Peter's arm.

Then he hears Mr Stark say, “Are you sure you don't want a dozen more pancakes,” and he twists round, relieved, to see Mr Stark and other Peter walking back to the booth.

“I think you could do with more pancakes. Or just food generally. Ma’am, could we get this man one order of food please,” Mr Stark calls to the lady at the counter.

“Honestly, Mr Stark, it's _fine_ ,” says other Peter. He's already holding at least a meal's worth of leftovers in two take-home boxes. 

“So when you nodded off we kind of took the liberty of discussing where you could stay while you're here,” War Machine tells Peter. “I'll be in the Avengers Facility for the next couple of days but I'm due back in Latveria again after that.”

“And we didn't know if you'd want to stay at the Facility,” says Scarlet Witch. “Tony's heading off to Chicago after this, so your other options are Sam and Bucky's—”

“I’ll just dismantle his home office nest in the living room to make space,” the Winter Soldier adds, with grim relish.

“Or you should just come stay with me,” other Peter finishes. 

“Okay,” says Peter to other Peter. “If that's okay— I mean. Thanks.”

While Scarlet Witch and the others head out to get her car (and War Machine gets into his suit, which he’s parked right by the door to the diner), Mr Stark makes some not very subtle series of gestures to indicate that he wants to have a word with Peter. 

“I’m sorry for your loss, kid,” he says, after he's taken Peter aside. “I really am.” 

“Thanks,” Peter tries to say, but when he opens his mouth it comes out choked up and inaudible. 

“I don’t know how close you both were, but if I made the suit — if other me made the suit…” Mr Stark stops, and just looks at Peter for a long moment. “I guess you must miss him.” 

And Peter can’t say, _I haven’t put on the suit in months because it reminds me too much of you_ , or, _sometimes I wake up and there’s maybe half a minute where I forget that what happened happened, and it’s the worst thing, when I remember again_. So he just nods, and says, “Yeah, I do.” 

Mr Stark pauses, then claps a hand onto Peter’s shoulder. “I know you might not want to hear this right now, but it’s going to be okay, kid.”

“Yeah,” says Peter. 

“And don’t worry,” Mr Stark continues. “We'll figure out a way to get you home.” 

“Thanks,” Peter replies, and tries not to think about that quick surge of disappointment he feels at the thought of going back. 

\---

 **New York Times Books** @nytimesbooks  
But Days — Michelle Jones’ debut essay collection is both cerebral and heartfelt, tackling topics ranging from the rise of enhanced individuals and its shaping of the global landscape, to postmodern love.

 **Steven Gr** @grthumbsteve  
@therealmichellejones was one of the first supporters of #saveourgardens and writes so movingly about the New York we’ve been fighting to preserve. P.s. Got teary-eyed at ‘Love and Fear’ and ‘A Shield, A Horizon’

> **MJ** @therealmichellejones  
>  my beauties — But Days has finally hit the shelves and I’m so grateful for the love. Check it out here! michellejones.com/butdays

**McNally Jackson** @mcnallyjackson  
Tuesday night at 7pm in Williamsburg, @therealmichellejones discusses her new book, ‘But Days’: mcnallyjackson.com/event/but-days...

\---

When other Peter says, “I’m kind of subletting a room right now,” he fails to specify exactly _who_ he’s subletting from. 

It is only after the room tour (“here’s some of my clothes you can borrow — I’ll sleep on the couch outside tonight because I’ll be up early for work”) and subsequent hunt for the spare duvet that Peter looks around the living room and notices a framed photograph collage on a display shelf. 

“Why does this say, ‘Happy Retirement Dear Steve’?” Peter asks, moving aside a giant stuffed toy whale in order to take a closer look at it. The pictures are full of Avengers: at least two are of Captain America punching an alien and/or robot in the face, while the others seem to be from various parties and birthday celebrations. There’s even one that looks like it was taken at a college commencement, featuring other Peter and the Winter Soldier in graduation gowns, a smiling Cap, and the Falcon and Mr Stark both fully suited up. 

“Oh yeah, Vision made that for Cap a couple of years ago,” says other Peter. 

“‘Cap’ as in Captain America?” asks Peter. 

“Yeah,” other Peter replies, “I mean, this is his place after all — I just moved into his spare room after I got evicted last year.”

“You're housemates with _Captain America_?”

Other Peter frowns. “I'm pretty sure I mentioned it…” He pauses. “Oh wait, you were asleep. My bad.”

“Wow,” says Peter, looking around the slightly cluttered living room with fresh eyes: the random plates stacked up on top of two Agatha Christie novels on the other end of the display shelf; the gardening paraphernalia sticking out of a box in one corner. There's a half painted sign leaning below the window (‘NO: WE _WILL_ TALK ABOUT INEQUALITY, MAYOR FISK’) and another box labelled ‘for F.E.A.S.T.’ that appears to be filled with canned food.

“You mean all this stuff is Cap's?”

Other Peter shrugs. “He does a lot in his retirement—” He interrupts himself with the most enormous yawn Peter has ever seen on his own face. “Sorry about that.”

“Oh no, no, _I'm_ sorry,” Peter says, and barely avoids tripping over the whale as he turns back towards the room. “Are you sure you don't want to take the bed? Because you're the one who's got work tomorrow.”

“I'm fine,” other Peter replies, and is that really how shifty he looks when he’s lying, Peter wonders.

“Or we can take turns,” Peter offers. “I'll take the couch tonight.”

Other Peter hesitates.

“Really, I've got the duvet and the pillows and everything.”

“Thanks, buddy, that's really great of you,” other Peter tells him, looking relieved and grateful even though really, Peter's the one who should be thanking him.

After other Peter has gone to bed, Peter showers and brushes his teeth using the spare supplies from other Peter's go-bag. He lies on Captain America's couch in the same oversized ‘I survived my trip to NYC’ t-shirt as he has back home, and listens to the sounds of Greenpoint in the nighttime. 

May must be frantic, if he’s vanished all over again — maybe she'll call Happy, whose number Peter had given her when she'd first found out he was Spider-man. She'll have to tell the school he's missing. She’ll definitely have to tell Ned, and then they’ll both freak out together. 

_I'm fine_ , he wishes he could text them. But he's tried his phone already and his SIM card in this universe is the exact copy of another dude’s, whose name is David Liu and whose wife has just delivered twins. So Peter just scrolls through old messages from his chat group with Ned and MJ, and ignores the profusion of celebratory ecards from David Liu's many aunts.

He must nod off at some point, because the next thing he knows, there's sunlight streaming in through the windows and onto his face.

Someone is standing over him.

Peter jerks awake to see Captain America peering curiously at him, coffee mug in one hand and newspaper in the other. 

“Wha—” says Peter, tumbling off the couch in his attempt to untangle himself from the duvet and stand up at the same time.

“Wow, so I guess they _weren't_ just playing an elaborate prank on the rest of the chat group,” says Cap, as Peter springs to his feet. 

“Hi,” he says, “I'm—”

“Alternate dimension Peter,” Cap finishes. “Yeah, I got the memo.” He holds up an actual post-it that someone — probably other Peter — has stuck onto the cover of his newspaper. 

‘ _HI CAP,’_ it reads,‘ _IF YOU SEE ME ASLEEP ON THE COUCH DON’T BE ALARMED — IT'S 17Y/O ME FROM A PARALLEL UNIVERSE!!_ ’

“That pretty much sums it up, I guess,” says Peter.

“Sure,” Cap replies, wholly unperturbed in a manner that only a man who has lived through _a lot of weird shit_ can be. “Want some breakfast?”

\---

 **Sis:  
** DAVE !!! I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU AND ZAHRA!!!!  
TWINS!!!! SO EXCITED, SEE YOU REAL SOON

 **Aunty Miao:  
** [Image]  
David, Warmest Congratulations from your Uncle and me.

 **Aunty Doris:  
** [Image]  
David. have youdecided the names. for your babies.  
You and Zahra should consider The zodiac. date. time of Birth. Ask your mom she Will know.

 **Arun (work):  
** First of all, massive congratulations from all of us!  
SECOND OF ALL, there was a wholeass fight between Spidey and the Goblin, it was INSANE and now the office is a wreck so we’re all working from home. Aren't you glad you quit???

\---

They eat toast in the living room, Cap working steadily through the newspaper while Peter sits up very straight in an armchair at the other end of the coffee table and tries not to crunch too loudly. 

The last time Peter had seen Cap had been at the funeral, when he had come by to shake hands with May and Peter after the ceremony. 

“See you around, Queens,” he had told Peter, with a startling sincerity that must have been what persuaded Mr Stark to _build an actual time machine_ , or convinced a bunch of people it was a good idea to come fight Iron Man in an airport. 

This Cap clearly hasn’t travelled back in time to live a full life with his first love before handing over the shield to the Falcon, given that he seems to be more or less the same age as the Cap Peter remembers. He looks weirdly normal outside of his uniform, like any other regular dude you might find walking around in Brooklyn. It probably also makes a difference that he’s got a beard now and doesn’t look like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. 

“So that whole thing about Thanos and having to use a time machine — all that stuff is true?” Cap asks. 

Peter nods. “Yeah,” he says with his mouth full, then remembers it’s rude and tries to chew and swallow as quickly as possible. “I wasn’t there for the time machine part, but that’s what they told me.” 

“Wow,” Cap says, although he sounds more troubled than anything. “I wonder what made the difference, in how things turned out.”

Peter has been thinking about that too, particularly whenever he catches sight of that ‘happy retirement’ collage on Cap’s shelf. He hasn’t quite decided how he feels about knowing that there must have been the possibility of a gentler future, one which never even factored into Dr Strange's fourteen million possibilities because of some obscure thing that had — or hadn’t — happened upstream. 

This future does not seem particularly gentle, though, when the apartment door gets flung open with surprising violence. 

A defeated-looking other Peter stands on the other side, his loosened tie flopping sadly over the dust-covered box in his arms. He shuffles inside, eases the door shut with one socked toe, and drops the box onto the floor beside the coffee table.

“Do you want me to move—” Peter begins, but other Peter simply backflips, impressively and morosely, onto the empty part of the couch beside Cap.

Cap swipes his coffee mug out of Peter's landing trajectory. “You're back early.”

“I forgot that Harry set off an explosion at the office and now we're all telecommuting,” Peter says, reaching for the giant whale and slumping back onto the couch again with it now cradled in his arms. It is so tall that most of his face is obscured. “At least some of my stuff survived.” He sticks out one hand to point mournfully at the dust-covered box.

“I didn't realise that was your office,” Peter says.

“Yeah, bit of a long story,” other Peter replies, voice muffled from the whale.

“Toast?” Cap asks, biting into his own slice.

“No, thank you,” says other Peter. “Just let me lie here for a sec and wallow over how much time I wasted this morning on the commute.”

Cap pats the whale. “There, there.”

Other Peter doesn’t even get to wallow, because someone else knocks on the door.

“It's unlocked,” Cap and other Peter both call at the same time. 

The door swings open. It’s MJ, with a duffel on one shoulder and another camera bag slung around her neck. 

“Whoa,” she says, looking from Peter to other Peter.

Other Peter drops the giant whale and sits up as quickly as possible, except the whale is too big and just ends up poking out of the gap between the couch and the coffee table. 

“Hey MJ,” he says, in a bright and slightly strangled tone that makes Peter feel mortified on his behalf.

“I'm sure there's a great explanation for why there are two of you,” says MJ, dropping her duffle on the floor with a gentle thunk. “But we're on a schedule here — Cap, you ready to go?”

“Hey MJ,” Peter says also, while Cap goes to grab his stuff. 

She squints at him. “Why are you a child?”

“Alternate dimension,” Peter tells her. “And I’m _seventeen_.”

“Hm,” MJ says. She looks exactly the same and not the same at all, in that she feels exactly how Peter would imagine MJ to be eight years later, cool and self-possessed as always.

What Peter doesn’t expect, though, is the look that crosses her face when she glances at other Peter. At first Peter thinks it might be disappointment. 

Then she says, “Hey, Sticky,” with the briefest of smiles, and Peter realises that it’s _hurt_. 

“Got the day off?” 

“My office got blown up, so. Uh,” other Peter says. “Why are you here, again?” 

“We’re filming a update episode for Cap’s chaos garden,” MJ replies, and when both Peters boggle at her she adds, “For the web series. I’m _so_ sure we’ve talked about this, Pete.” 

Other Peter gets this deer in the headlights expression and MJ gets that hurt look again. Peter gets the feeling that they’re circling the edge of some sort of disagreement that’s maybe been going on for a while. 

“Chaos garden?” he asks, just to distract from the really weird vibe.

“It’s where Cap used up a bunch of leftover seeds by dumping them on the same plot and leaving them to grow,” MJ tells him. “We’ve been checking in every couple of months.” 

“Okay,” says Peter. “So this is some kind of gardening YouTube channel?”

MJ shrugs. “It started as one. Now it’s just a random thing where Cap tries things. I pitched it to him as a joke last year but he took me seriously.”

“Last month I tried Dungeons and Dragons,” Cap says, emerging from his room in a different-coloured shirt. “Which involved less dragons than I was led to believe.”

“Yup.” MJ picks up her duffel bag. “You’ve said that like a thousand times.” 

When MJ and Cap have both left, other Peter buries his face in his hands. 

“Um, what was that?” Peter demands. “What’s going on with you and MJ?”

“Nothing,” says other Peter. “Which, I mean, is maybe the problem right now, but.” He shakes his head, and gets up to rummage in the box he brought back. “Look, I gotta work, okay?” 

“Sure, yeah,” Peter replies. “Sorry, dude.” 

“Yeah, I don't have time for—” Other Peter slides the laptop from its case. It's cracked almost perfectly in two. 

He lets out a sigh that goes on for a very long time. 

\---

 **STEVE ROGERS’ QUIET RETURN**  
_By Betty Brant_  
  
In a corner of the Internet, on a nondescript Vimeo channel named ‘grthumbs’, there is a slightly shaky 5 minute video entitled ‘Steve's plot’. In it, former Captain America and now community gardener Steve Rogers sits on wooden crate next to a square of dirt and describes, in loving and enthusiastic detail, his plans for his tiny part of the community garden. 

When ‘Steve's plot’ was first published, it initially saw a grand total of 10 views, and seemed destined for the pleasant anonymity granted to most home videos of this nature. Then a Twitter user found it and tweeted the link, and the video went viral. A dozen think pieces were written on the charming calm of ‘Steve's plot’, about the quiet joy it brought viewers (and all right, maybe some of them were about how great Cap looked in that Henley). Something about a retired superhero going on about how tomatoes are his favourite crop seemed to soothe the collective Internet at large, if only for that one frenzied week. At time of writing, almost a year on, ‘Steve's plot’ has racked up almost seven million views.

It has also spawned a series. In the month following ‘Steve's plot’, the ‘grthumbs’ channel posted a second video entitled ‘Steve’s scarf’, in which he attempts, enthusiastically, to learn how to knit while an offscreen instructor (widely believed to be Vision) offers him tips and encouragement. ‘Steve's scarf’ was followed by ‘Steve's barbeque’, a 10 minute clip of Rogers preparing for a barbeque. “He doesn't even cook the food at the end!!! Why am i still so soothed???” reads one popular comment on the video, which was then followed by ‘Steve's actual barbeque’.

There are currently a total of 15 videos uploaded onto the channel, including updates on Rogers’ community garden plot and “chaos garden”, an additional plot in which he’s planted all the leftover seeds fellow gardeners have given him. Rogers does not so much present these videos as he's just _in_ them, speaking directly to the person behind the camera. In ‘Steve's shelves pt 3’, he Facetimes Bucky Barnes, formerly the Winter Soldier and now temporarily Captain America, to confess, “I have no clue what I'm doing, Buck,” only to receive a grumpy earful about not getting his measurements right.

Regardless of whether Rogers knows what he's doing, the series has become a well-loved sensation, with many tuning in as a way of calming down at the end of an anxious or tiring day. “I like that it’s about trying stuff and not necessarily being very good at it,” writes one user, _duckybear_ , on the r/avengers subreddit on Reddit. The videos earn Rogers no ad revenue, although he (or whoever produces and uploads these videos for him) does occasionally put up links in the descriptions to various causes that he's also posted about on his Twitter account.

Outside of being an Internet hit, Rogers has been seen volunteering extensively with the VA and with the network of F.E.A.S.T. homeless shelters in New York, in addition to working with various organisations dedicated to preserving affordable housing for New Yorkers.

It's not quite the re-entry into the spotlight that people may have anticipated after Rogers passed on the shield to Sam Wilson four years ago. But as a next chapter, ‘Steve's return’ is pretty darn perfect.

\---

“So what I’m saying is that it’s kind of hard to be an Avenger with like, a secret identity, and a job, and also be a semi-reliable person who’s stable enough to be in a relationship,” says other Peter. “You know what I mean?”

“Um,” Peter replies. “Not really?”

They’re in a mobile phone shop getting Peter a new SIM card, and other Peter is wearing _sunglasses and a baseball cap_ as if it’s a legitimate disguise. 

“And the thing is we keep having these _moments_ , you know, like… where we know something’s going on between us,” other Peter continues, “but I can’t do that to her, so I just, I don’t know, start talking about the subway or something.”

“You talked about the _subway_?” 

“There was this really cool article about—” Other Peter pauses, then sighs. “Yeah, I talked about the subway.” 

The sales associate reappears with Peter’s new SIM. “Now you just want to pop that in to see if it’s working,” she says, before disappearing once again into the back of the shop. 

“Wow,” says Peter, as he gets to work on switching out the old SIM. “I always assumed I’d somehow grow out of…” he trails off.

“Grow out of what?” 

“I don’t know, of being so... _me_?” 

“Ouch,” says other Peter, slumping onto the counter. “I’m offended on both our behalves.” 

Peter pushes the new SIM in and squeezes the power button on his phone. “How does MJ feel about this?”

“I’m sorry, did you miss the part where I interrupted any meaningful discussion we could’ve had with trivia about rapid transit systems?” says other Peter. 

“So you’re just going to keep this — whatever — inside you until at some point you explode,” says Peter.

Other Peter shrugs. “Pretty much. It doesn’t really feel like I have much of a choice.” 

The new SIM works: Peter now no longer has a phone that duplicates every message received by David Liu. Other Peter pays, using the ‘for emergencies’ money War Machine had foisted onto him before they had left the pancake diner. 

“So what’s the deal with you, then?” other Peter asks, as they leave the phone shop and head towards a donut place other Peter thinks he should try. “How’s being Spider-man?” 

“It’s been… complicated,” says Peter, thinking about helping old ladies cross the street or even his fight with Toomes, and how far away all of that feels after _space_ , after battling Thanos’ entire army. 

It’s not like he didn’t try going on patrol again, after the funeral, with an improvised mask. But as he had held the suit in his hands, all he could think about was Mr Stark slumped in the rubble, the way his ruined arm had dangled over Cap’s shoulder when Cap had come to move him. It’s stupid, perhaps, but Peter hadn't realised this, before: he’d always thought of Mr Stark as invincible. 

Until he wasn't.

“You haven’t put on the suit since, have you?” other Peter says quietly. 

Peter glances at him. “How— how did you know?”

“I had a feeling,” other Peter replies. “Also the timestamp showed up when we tried to scan the suit’s processing unit.” 

Peter says nothing, just buries his fists into the pockets of his borrowed jacket. 

“And let me guess — you’ve been beating yourself up over that as well,” says other Peter. 

“Shouldn’t I be?” asks Peter. “I have a job, and I’m not doing it.” 

“There's a difference between not doing your job, and taking a bit of time out to, well… get your head right, as Bucky would say,” says other Peter. “Or to just _grieve_. We're not machines.”

Peter clenches and unclenches his fists, runs a thumb against the inside seam of the jacket pocket. 

“Just think about it, alright?” says other Peter, clapping one hand on Peter’s shoulder, and then he mercifully doesn’t bring it up again. This may, of course, be because he is distracted by donuts, but Peter is grateful nonetheless.

Later, when other Peter has headed out on night patrol, Peter sits in the room they now share and tries not to wonder about the past eight years other Peter has lived. He hasn’t even fully unpacked — there are two battered moving boxes still stacked in a corner that look as if they may have been rescued off a sidewalk, and half his clothes and belongings seem to be permanently stored in the suitcase and duffel bag stuffed under his bed. 

On the tiny table that functions both as a working desk and nightstand, he’s got a couple of books flipped open and stacked on top of each other — Pym’s “short treatise” on quantum physics that could probably knock out a bank robber, an ‘Idiot’s Guide to Personal Injury and Property Damage’, and a first aid quick reference. And lying on top of that stack, closed and pristine, is MJ’s new book. 

Peter opens the book and sees that she’s signed the title page (‘ _Here’s my book, Sticky! - your friend, MJ_ ’). Then he notices what other Peter’s been using as a bookmark. Tucked between the first and second chapter is a polaroid photograph of the academic decathlon team: older, at a dinner, with other Peter and MJ seated comfortably next to each other. It's lovely — everyone is smiling at the camera and MJ's sort of leaning into other Peter. Except something must have caught other Peter's attention just outside the window — a police siren going by, perhaps — because he's glancing away towards it, his expression sharp and worried.

 _Oh_ , Peter thinks. Maybe he does understand.

\---

 **BuzzFeed | Avengers**  
**6 Reasons Why We Think Sam Wilson Can Actually Communicate With Birds**  
We've had our suspicions, but now it’s time for a conclusive investigation.

1\. Brooklyn Birdgate: the photo that started it all. A total of eight (EIGHT) birds landed almost simultaneously on Captain America in Prospect Park, with not a grain of bird seed in sight. And there's OG Cap Steve Rogers standing off to one corner because eight birds is a lot, man.  
[photo]

2\. This pigeon tailing Namor. Why would a pigeon be doing this except for SURVEILLANCE?  
[photo]

3\. The Falcon laughing alone with gull. Nobody laughs in the face of a seagull. Except Sam Wilson.  
[photo]

4\. A crow returns a child her lunchbox at Broxton Elementary during a visit from the Falcon. Why would a crow do that... unless Captain America had given it a stern telling-off??  
[photo]

5\. This video of three birds flying straight into Iron Man’s face: it's almost as if someone got them to mess with Tony Stark.  
[gif] [gif] [gif]

6\. That time a bald frickin’ eagle circled overhead while Sam Wilson got his NASA medal. A BALD EAGLE. Coincidence? I think not...  
[photo]

In summary, Captain America Sam Wilson is a stone cold badass who also talks to and/or befriends birds. The End.  
[gif] 

_Need more Avengers news? Check out all our Avengers coverage here._

More on this:  
**11 Times Wanda Maximoff Brought Her Latte To A Fight  
**   
**Cap Plays D &D And Talks About Job-Hunting In “Steve’s D&D Game”**

 **Quiz: Find Out Which Avenger You Are Based On Your Dream Breakfast  
**   
\---

He settles into a routine of sorts, after that. 

Cap's apartment appears to function as some sort of congregating point for all Avengers and Avenger-adjacent people, which results in Peter becoming very good at explaining ‘I am alternate dimension Peter Parker’ in as short a time as possible. 

The Winter Soldier stops by now and then to help Cap fix stuff around the nearby community garden. Peter follows, just to be useful, and gets to witness the Bucky Barnes charm in full force as he sweet talks Lilian and Maude into allowing him to fix the section of fence behind the hydrangeas.

“Hey Pete, I've got some nice granddaughters I could introduce you to,” says Maude when Peter first drops by. “Or grandsons, if that's what you're interested in.” Peter hesitates for just one second, and ends up in a full photo album run-through of every eligible person at Maude's 75th birthday party.

“Rookie mistake,” says the Winter Soldier afterwards, before climbing into the car Maria Hill has sent to pick him up. 

May is still away in Ohio on a work trip, but she seems to have come round to the fact that there are two Peters now. Peter Facetimes her sometimes, and it’s always weird because she both is and isn’t May — this May doesn’t have that drawn look of someone who’s grieved for him for the past five years, but there’s a different kind of worry in her eyes when she talks to other Peter about how “They should pay you more, honestly,” and that he should “Accept the money, but of course you’re just as stubborn as Ben was”. With Peter she asks about whether he’s eating right and adjusting well, and he never can speak to her for long because it just makes him think of his May.

Other Peter, once he gets a new laptop, spends most of his non-patrol time working. He falls asleep on top of said laptop everywhere in the apartment, mostly during the wee hours of the morning. This occurrence is usually marked by the cessation of typing noises and, shortly after, the sound of him grinding his teeth in his sleep. 

One night, Peter wakes up from his designated spot on the couch, and sees other Peter curled up on the armchair with his laptop wedged between his chest and his knees. He's still got his suit on and the window's ajar, like he'd swept in from night patrol and immediately started on his emails.

Also, the Black Widow is standing in the shadows by the giant whale. 

Peter makes a very undignified sound of surprise. Other Peter crunches his teeth together emphatically.

“He should really see a dentist for that,” Black Widow says, stepping out into the sliver of light coming from the window. She's in a dressing gown with her hair wrapped up in a towel — this is _not_ how Peter has ever imagined they would meet. “They can make him one of those plastic mouthguard things.”

“Hi,” says Peter. “I'm Peter Parker.”

“You're in my spot,” says Black Widow, but she doesn't sound particularly annoyed. “If you boys are both sleeping out here, I'm taking the guest room.”

She pads silently to other Peter's room and disappears. The next morning, there is a bag of pastries on the table for breakfast.

“Cocoa snails!” Cap tells Peter delightedly.

“They're a little squashed from that last surprise gunfight,” says Black Widow, examining one critically. She's still in her dressing gown, drinking coffee out of a hideous _Spider-man_ movie mug. Other Peter manages to snag one before tumbling out the door to head to the office.

“They're delicious,” says Cap, biting into one. “And all the way from Budapest. Thanks, Nat.”

Black Widow looks over at Peter. “Are you the reason why Steve gave me an extra-long hug this morning? He's been all gooey today.”

“It was just a normal length, ‘I'm glad you're alive’ hug,” Cap protests.

“Not just you — Wanda did the same thing yesterday evening,” Black Widow continues, “and Rhodey sent me a text that said, ‘ _feeling really thankful for you, Nat_ ’ a week ago. It's been weird.”

“Um, I may have told some people that you've been missing, where I'm from,” says Peter.

“Hm,” says Black Widow, absently studying her _Spider-man_ mug (which features half of the Spider-man mask fading into half of Jamie Bell's face). “Sentimental.”

But she doesn't look terribly upset when the Falcon and the Winter Soldier come by later and greet her with jubilant hugs of their own.

And Peter gets used to it, even though he didn't think he would, even though he _shouldn't_ — because every few days Scott Lang passes on updates on the Pyms’ progress in reverse-engineering the portal technology, in some kind of weird dimension-jumping arms race with Mr Stark. 

But Peter gets used to everyone's habits — how Cap likes to watch gardening tutorials to unwind after a trying negotiation with city council, how the Falcon will absolutely do his knee rehab exercises during movie nights and is not afraid to block part of the TV if he has to. He gets used to their post-fight downtime, how they fuel up and ride out the crash together in some diner or someone's living room (how other Peter always takes home the leftovers).

There's a sweetness to it, despite the pulled hamstrings and black eyes and sleepless nights. It comes from being part of a team, one generous enough to take in Peter, whose sole contribution is usually dialling for takeout when they're on their way back. And when something goes south — couldn't save everyone; public backlash — they bear it together as well.

Peter wishes — he doesn't know what he wishes, now. Some evenings he lies in other Peter's bed and thinks, _if I get back_ ; wonders at what point the _when_ had become _if_ in his mind. He thinks about Mr Stark, still in Chicago, so eager with his updates on sending Peter home because all of this is just a puzzle for him, probably. Because he's got his own, other Peter, whose graduation Mr Stark gave a speech at, who runs scans with Mr Stark at the lab and can send Mr Stark a text any time he wants (the last text other Peter sends him is a link to an article about how Keanu Reeves intends to star in and produce a Tony Stark biopic).

 _When I get back_ , Peter corrects himself. When Peter gets back he'll be back where he started, without his suit and disconnected. When Peter gets back, he'll be alone.

\---

 **scarlet witch:**  
Hey wanna get boba

Wow um okay when?

 **scarlet witch:**  
Like right now dude  
Vision's in Geneva and Im bored  
See my car downstairs

\---

They've only just finished queueing for some cheese foam tiramisu brown sugar boba monstrosity when a pigeon literally flies into Scarlet Witch's face.

“ _Whoa, what was that_?” Peter exclaims, as the pigeon makes off with her baseball cap.

“For the last time!” snaps Scarlet Witch. She doesn't look particularly shocked, just extremely annoyed, as she reaches into her pocket for her phone.

The message reads: “ _Sinister Six set off something at Hammer HQ, need backup_ ”. It is from someone named ‘birb captain’.

“ _ETA 2 MIN_ ,” a ‘scary spice’ replies.

“I have so many questions,” says Peter. 

“Can you pick up our boba while I go get the car,” says Scarlet Witch, rolling her eyes at the pigeon still circling overhead as she stalks off towards where she parked. 

There is probably the equivalent of an entire slice of tiramisu in each cup. Scarlet Witch rage drinks half of it during the drive to Queens. 

“Ugh, I feel ill,” she says, as they roll up to Hammer Industries HQ. “Remind me never to get this again.” With that, she flings open the door and levitates out towards the building.

“Um, what should I do?” Peter calls after her.

“Wait in the car,” she shouts. 

So Peter does. For a grand total of three minutes.

He’s never seen an Avengers fight from this perspective before, maybe not since that time he was nine and at the Stark Expo, jostling among the crowd running for cover from robot drones. Now people are pouring out of Hammer Industries HQ, while an explosion from within shakes the building and the area around it. 

A lady in a lab coat trips. Peter’s out of the car before he knows it, catching her before she gets stampeded by the crowd behind her. 

He helps two other people up, then scrambles up on top of the car to spot the ambulances and police cars coming down the far end of the street. 

“If you need medical attention, the triage site is two blocks down on your left,” he calls over the crowd. “Stay calm, it’s gonna be okay.” 

While the crowd hurries in the direction Peter is pointing towards, he spots a couple of employees on wheelchairs who are trapped on top of the steps because a giant fallen ‘H’ (for Hammer) is obstructing the ramp. 

“Hold tight, I’ll carry you down,” says Peter to the first guy, who’s wearing a nametag that says “Alonzo.” 

“Dude, are you sure you can lift us?” asks Alonzo, slightly alarmed, and Peter remembers he’s not in the suit. 

“I'm not gonna drop you, I swear,” Peter says, trying not to sound too confident. 

“Okay, but I think you’d better get the others to safety first,” says Alonzo, gesturing towards his colleagues. “Take Mia, she’s not feeling too good.”

“Sure thing,” says Peter, “I'll be right back.” He makes an effort to look like he’s really straining when he picks up Mia's wheelchair.

He carries Mia down, followed by two others, but as he starts to help Alonzo, a man in tiger print and the Winter Soldier come bursting through the main entrance, shattering the one-storey glass doors of the building. They are quickly followed by a dude who seems to be shooting electricity from his hands, other Peter, and a torrent of sand that coalesces into another dude.

“Holy cow,” says Peter, as the Winter Soldier rolls to his feet and flings the Captain America shield at Tiger Print. Tiger Print ducks the shield but gets a swift kick to the face by other Peter. 

Other Peter and the Winter Soldier move like they’ve been fighting together for years: the Winter Soldier tackling Tiger Print to the ground for other Peter to web up; other Peter flinging a potted plant at Electricity Dude so the Winter Soldier can slide over and slap some kind of dampener token on him. They’re kind of outnumbered, though — Sand Guy disperses for a second and re-forms right on top of the Winter Soldier.

“Wanda, we need some water like _right now_ ,” he groans, wrestling with Sand Guy, while other Peter continues webbing Electricity Dude up.

“Hey, kid,” Alonzo says, “don't you think we should be getting to safety?”

“Um, yeah,” says Peter, carrying Alonzo and his wheelchair a little too effortlessly down the steps. “Sorry.”

“Thanks, kid,” says Alonzo, when Peter sets him down on the sidewalk. “You lift weights or something? How'd you get so strong?”

“Uh, it's probably just the adrenaline—” Peter starts to say, except his spidey sense goes off and he feels, before he sees, the giant “M” flying towards him and Alonzo. 

Peter's hands go up automatically to catch it, secret identity be damned, but before the “M” touches his fingers it's kicked out of the way by someone who's swooped down from the sky.

Alonzo whoops. “It's Captain America!”

The Falcon shoots back up into the air and executes a perfect turn towards a second-floor window, presumably to tackle someone else. It must work, because seconds later, there is a burst of Scarlet Witch energy and a torrent of water comes slamming down onto Sand Guy.

When the Falcon next emerges from the building, it’s to toss out an unconscious professor-type guy who happens to have four extra mechanical limbs. Scarlet Witch levitates another guy from the third floor. He seems to be unironically wearing a cape. 

“Seriously,” says the Falcon, picking up the shield from beneath the shadow of the other giant ‘M’, “why do you even carry this with you if you’re not gonna use it right?” 

Before the Winter Soldier can reply, Cape Dude leaps up, his arms raised t-rex style, to shoot some kind of green light at the Falcon.

“Look out!” Peter and other Peter shout at the same time. 

The Falcon throws the shield he’s holding, and then another one that seems to materialise out of a device on his arm. The first one cuts off Cape Dude’s green light and the second hits him right in the stomach, causing him to fly backwards. The Falcon catches the first returning shield and flips it onto his back, before catching and dematerialising the second one. 

“Yeah, yeah,” says the Winter Soldier, trying to sound dismissive even though he's grinning _really hard_. “Show-off.”

“I wasn't gonna say anything,” the Falcon says, sounding decidedly smug.

“This is the greatest day of my life,” Alonzo breathes, as paramedics reach the main building and wrap him in a shock blanket. 

“Hey kid, are you okay?” one of the paramedics asks Peter, while the Avengers check the restraints on Cape Dude and the extra legs guy.

“Yeah — yeah, I’m fine,” says Peter. His hands are trembling. 

Peter looks over at the Avengers, and sees Scarlet Witch limping along while being supported by the Falcon, while the Winter Soldier casts around for his lost knife with one eye almost swollen shut. Other Peter’s suit is slightly singed from where he’d failed to avoid some of Electricity Dude’s blasts (“Is it just me or are anyone else’s ears ringing?”). 

“That was a really brave thing you did, going back to help,” the paramedic tells Peter. 

“No,” replies Peter absently. “Not really.” 

\---

**fyeahjbbarnes**

[Photo]

[Photo]

[Photo]

pics from the cleanup after the Hammer Industries attack - jbb and team got a major assist from sam wilson

#jbb is the hero we don't deserve #fal!cap #spidey #captain barnes #wanda maximoff: badass witch

  **marconi**  
  SAM WILSON! SAM WILSON! Didn't realise how much I've missed seeing him in action!!

    **buckybear**  
    is that two shields fal!cap is holding? Epic.

  **suchafullsea**  
  it looks like Roommate Pete was there???

    **fyeahjbbarnes**  
    Yes, it looks like he was there and helping with crowd control

      **mockingbird**  
      OMG he's like an honorary Avenger

        **marconi**  
        ROOMMATE PETE IS OKAY! 

\---

At the Falcon’s request, his welcome back celebration takes place not at the Avengers Facility but on the roof of his apartment building. Lots of people show up, including the Falcon’s former co-workers from the VA and a contingent of New York-based Asgardians who roll up with several cases of small-batch New Asgardian mead. Peter goes, and tries to be helpful as the Winter Soldier and the Vision take turns tending the grill. 

“I’d like another roasted pepper, please,” says Scarlet Witch, floating past them because she’s still under strict instructions to rest her sprained ankle.

“I don’t see why you can’t just blast them with your forehead laser,” the Winter Soldier tells Vision. 

“I did try that once and I’m afraid I irreparably damaged Tony’s grill,” the Vision replies. 

“Pity,” says the Winter Soldier. He turns to Peter. “Hey, kid, we got this. Why don’t you go mingle?” 

“Um,” says Peter, because he’d really rather not, but the Winter Soldier jerks his chin in a way that is probably intended to be encouraging but also looks kind of menacing.

He wanders across the roof, trying not to bump into people, until he reaches an emptyish spot by the parapet that’s occupied by the roundest and largest pigeon he’s ever seen.

“Mind if I join you?” he tells the pigeon, because it feels better saying something really lame to a bird than acknowledging how much he feels like he shouldn’t have come. It’s just _weird_ that he’s here — other Peter hasn’t even arrived yet — and in a way it feels kind of fraudulent, he thinks, because all he’s really done is happen to be an alternate-dimension version of other Peter. 

“That bird is _massive_ ,” someone says.

Peter turns and sees MJ, coming toward him with a plate of roasted peppers.

“Hey, baby Pete,” she says. “Do you want some peppers because that’s weirdly all they have on the grill right now.” 

“Um, okay,” says Peter. “Thanks, MJ.”

MJ nods and hands him a fork. “So why are you hanging out with a pigeon instead of talking to other people at this party?” 

“I’m talking to you,” says Peter.

“Are you though?” MJ replies, squinting her eyes, and it’s so absurd and familiar that Peter is suddenly gut-punched with homesickness. 

“Hey,” MJ is saying, “you okay?” 

“I’m fine,” Peter tells her, even though it’s so stupidly obvious how his voice is all choked up. 

MJ nods. “Sure you are, baby Pete.”

“Really,” Peter says, stuffing a pepper into his mouth. “I am.” 

“Okay,” says MJ, turning round to lean against the parapet, hands in her pockets. Then, after a pause: “I’ll hang out with you. Don’t worry.” 

“Uh,” says Peter. “Thanks?” 

MJ winks. “You’re welcome.” 

And so that’s exactly what they do, Peter and MJ and a random bird. He tells MJ about Mr Harrison’s poetry readings and MJ tells him about what the academic decathlon team is doing now, in the future. 

“Remember that crush you had on Liz Toomes?” MJ says, with a laugh.

Peter winces. “That was literally last year for me.” 

“Oh crap, I’m so sorry,” says MJ.

“Nah,” Peter replies, “I guess that’s pretty much been eclipsed by being in space, and like, um. What happened to Mr Stark.” 

MJ nods. “I heard about that,” she says. “That really sucks.”

“Yeah,” says Peter.

“I mean, just the whole Thanos thing alone — even in our timeline, it was pretty awful,” says MJ. “Peter was messed up about space for a really long time.”

“He’s never mentioned this,” says Peter.

“Yeah,” says MJ, “he was falling off of buildings and stuff for a while. Like, losing his powers or something.” 

“That’s terrifying.”

“I know, right?” MJ replies. “People used to make supercuts of him just like, falling onto cars and shit.” She shrugs. “I may or may not have forwarded him a couple.” 

“As one does,” says Peter dryly. 

“As one does,” MJ agrees, and they both laugh. 

“Hey, guys,” says the Falcon, coming over with a plate of sausages. “Mind trading some peppers for sausages? A little bird told me you guys had the last ones.”

“It’s your lucky day,” says MJ, and is seemingly unperturbed by the the pigeon hopping heavily from the parapet to perch on the Falcon’s shoulder. 

Peter looks from the pigeon to the Falcon, and then to MJ. Then back at the Falcon.

“When you said a little bird _—_ ” Peter begins

“Yeah, yeah, I talk to birds—” says the Falcon.

“...he talks to birds,” MJ explains at the same time. 

“Give it a bit of time,” the Falcon says wearily, “you’ll get used to it.”

“No, I _know_ ,” Peter says, because he’s seen the Twitter theory threads and also personally witnessed the Avengers’ bird alert system on multiple occasions. He points at the pigeon on the Falcon’s shoulder, which is basically the size of a small cat. “How is _that_ in any way ‘little’?” __  
  
MJ snorts so loudly that she scares the pigeon away. 

The next day, Peter receives a text message from MJ containing links to various “Spidey falling” supercut videos. Peter watches the first one (which is set to an Evanescence song). It just looks really painful. 

‘ _Thanks? haha,_ ’ Peter texts back. 

‘ _Happy to oblige, baby Pete_ ,’ MJ replies. ‘ _Sending you 1 more.’_

Peter opens the link. Over the sounds of _I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)_ , someone has strung together all the clips of Spider-man pushing himself off dented cars and cracked pavements and limping out of frame. The video is titled “SPIDEY GETS UP”.

‘ _Thanks_ ,’ Peter texts MJ. 

MJ sends him back a smiley face. ‘ _That one’s my favourite_.’

\---

 **CNN** @CNN  
Raft prison to investigate recent escapes by Harry ‘Green Goblin’ Osborn, Sinister Six cnn.it/3FsazBl

 **Reuters Top News** @Reuters  
Samuel Wilson officially returns to role of Captain America, thanks Sgt James Buchanan ‘Bucky’ Barnes for his six months of service reut.rs/8Dv9Zw5

 **BBC Breaking News** @BBCBreaking  
World Council for Interplanetary Relations says Loki will face justice on Centauri IV; theft of NASA spacecraft “still not within Council’s jurisdiction” bbc.in/5UoeS0x

 **The Daily Bugle** @dailybugle  
MORE BUG THAN MAN: 10 years of terror since first Spidey sighting - in photos! bug.le/3xQnKo

 **Industry City** @IndustryCity  
We welcome back @barnescarpentry, who returns from kicking butt to measuring kickspaces. We’ve missed you!

\---

Well, there _is_ one thing Peter can change.

“I think I need to learn to fix my suit,” he tells other Peter, on one of the rare evenings other Peter is home before night patrol. 

Other Peter takes this moment to drop another mini fruit tartlet directly into his mouth. (He's brought back a whole tray from some meeting at the office because apparently the marketing team is collectively on a juice cleanse.) “Wh—” he says, with his mouth full.

“The Winter Soldier — Mr Barnes says you make your own suits now,” says Peter.

Other Peter swallows noisily. “Yeah,” he says, “after Mr Stark hit a thousand web shooter combinations I told him he maybe needed to chill.” He eats another tartlet. “And I mean _literally_ a thousand, it was kind of insane.”

“Wow.”

“Like, if you're fighting ten guys in an alleyway you really don't want Karen to get confused between Net Web and Wet Web,” says other Peter. 

Peter makes a face. “Wet Web?”

“It forms a kind of web fluid puddle that…” other Peter begins. “Yeah, it still sounds kind of wrong.” He shrugs. “Anyway, what do you want to know?”

Peter shakes his head. “I don't even really know where to start.”

Other Peter gives him a sympathetic look. “Trust me, neither did I.” He slides off the couch and shuffles over to his room, where he unearths, from within one of his cardboard moving boxes, the ancient StarkPad 3 Peter remembers buying off someone on Craigslist in his first year of high school. It even has the same half-peeled-off Pikachu sticker on the back.

“Recognise this?” other Peter asks, keying in the password PIN and handing the StarkPad over to Peter.

Instead of digital copies of Peter's _Batman_ comics, the storage drive on the StarkPad contains a series of folders. ‘Fabric Composites’, one of them reads. ‘Research Bin', says another. 

“Wow,” says Peter, opening one that’s simply labelled ‘Soles’. There’s some kind of simulator programme stored there, as well as twenty or so performance logs with their corresponding time periods.

“So the thing is,” other Peter says, “to quote the most ancient of memes, one does not simply tell Mr Stark to chill.” He leans over and clicks around a bit on the StarkPad, and pulls up a rendering entitled ‘Solo Suit 1’. “So I made a prototype.” 

“That’s awesome,” says Peter, rotating it slowly on the screen. 

“It was really shitty,” other Peter replies. “But he got very distracted by the general shittiness and then I think Doctor Doom tried to shrink the moon so, you know. That kind of took priority.” 

Peter zooms in on the prototypes web shooters, noting that other Peter had scaled down to a prudent twenty combinations. “Isn’t that the plot of that Steve Carell movie?” 

“Yeah, that’s what pretty much everyone pointed out to Doctor Doom at the time,” says other Peter, reaching for another two tartlets. He squishes them together like a sandwich and eats them in one mouthful, while reaching for his phone. “Anyway, I gotta go — Karen’s picked up some dust-up in Hell’s Kitchen and Daredevil’s still recovering from having another building dropped on him.” 

“Okay—” says Peter, looking up and half expecting to see that other Peter has vanished, Batman-style, into the night. 

Instead, he’s tangled up in his hoodie because he’s tried to snag another fruit tartlet for the road while also changing out into his suit. Peter reaches over to help hold the fruit tartlet, and reminds himself that this twenty-five year old dude who has just eaten twelve free fruit tartlets in place of dinner is a functioning adult who is also, essentially, Peter. 

“Well,” says other Peter, cramming the last tartlet into his mouth before pulling on the mask. He points at the StarkPad. “Have fun with that.” 

And then he vaults directly out of the window, graceful as an afterthought, catching himself on a line of web and swinging effortlessly to the building across the street. 

Peter watches him leap from rooftop to rooftop until he’s out of sight. 

\---

r/BuzzFeedUnsolved • youtube  
Posted by u/mouseclick12  
**Unsolved: True Crime S15E08 -The Unusual Disappearance Of Norman Osborn**

[Video]

What became of Oscorp CEO Norman Osborn? Did the Green Goblin have anything to do with it?

Unsolved has BRAND NEW merch! Check it out here: http://bzfd.it/shopunsolved

59 Comments | Share | Save

 **RatCave** • 5 hours ago  
I can't believe it's the season finale already! This season went by so fast.

↑ 93 ↓

  **Ghoulgirl**  
  maybe its the season finale cause they have to go into hiding from the green goblin after posting this

↑ 41 ↓

    **kate320**  
    *wheeeeze*

↑ 13 ↓

 **NamorNoMore** • 7 hours ago  
Personally, I find the two green goblins theory a bit of a stretch — I much agree with Ryan that it may have had something to do with Harry being the Goblin though.

↑ 87 ↓

\---

"So," Mr Stark says, "I hear you're learning to make your own suit."

Peter had expected to have this conversation at some point, but perhaps not at seven in the morning, with Mr Stark hovering outside the window in his Iron Man suit. 

"What's that sound—" Cap begins, emerging from the bathroom. "Oh, hey Tony. Back from Chicago?"

Mr Stark waves. "Good to see you, Secret Garden. How's it going? Taken over city hall yet?"

"Oh you know how it is," Cap deadpans. "Baby steps for now."

"Well, if you ever need a fundraising gala, you know who to call," says Mr Stark. "Probably Pepper," he clarifies. "She has a team for these things."

"Got it," Cap replies. "Want some coffee? Though if you're planning on coming in, do you mind landing on the roof or on the sidewalk? We just fixed that window frame."

"Actually, we were just leaving," says Mr Stark. "Pete and I are heading upstate."

"We are?" says Peter.

"Car's downstairs," Mr Stark replies, before turning midair to go. "See you in a bit."

As Mr Stark blasts off into the sky, Peter and Cap look out of the window to see a car pull up, perfectly on cue.

"Do you think he has Happy wait around the corner until he gives him some kind of signal?" Peter asks.

"Oh, absolutely," says Cap. "Happy's probably been sitting just down the road for twenty minutes."

Happy takes Peter not to the Avengers Facility, but to a nondescript but massive hangar compound in which Mr Stark is apparently building his second spaceship. 

“But that’s beside the point,” says Mr Stark, “because we’re here to talk about _you_.” 

“I’m sorry, I thought I’d try to figure it out—”

“Don’t apologise,” says Mr Stark. “Show me what you’ve got.” 

So Peter pulls out the Pikachu StarkPad (“Honestly, I’m shocked,” says Mr Stark. “Who’s in charge of planned obsolescence in Consumer Electronics, because this is a _relic_ —") and shows him. He runs the simulations on sole wear and smoother web-shooter execution, and also pulls up some design adjustments based on new research about higher contrast colours and their effect on visual processing. 

“I’m impressed,” says Mr Stark. “But have you given any thought to the lens mechanisms and electronics?” 

“Um,” says Peter, feeling himself turning pink because Mr Stark was _impressed_. “Yeah, I thought of some stuff — right here —”

He pulls up the lens mechanism ideas he’d added to other Peter’s existing document. 

“Nice,” says Mr Stark, scrolling through. “Very nice.” He looks up at Peter. “Now let’s take it from the top.” 

What ensues is a Tony Stark masterclass on designing and upgrading a suit. They run simulations and fabricate textile composites on the spot, and, at one point, speed-test web shooter optimum velocity by literally shooting web fluid across the length of the hangar.

It’s everything Peter has imagined working with Mr Stark would be like — no, it’s better than he imagined. Because Mr Stark is _there_ , gleefully balancing one of his robot arm assistants on top of a giant metal core that they're using to test the tensile strength of Peter’s new web shooter formulation. He's showing Peter the gorgeous, glowing sphere of lines and light that is Karen’s consciousness, and also how to hand-lay the sections of circuitry that go by the heel of Peter’s foot because “you think you’ll be fine with that little bump rubbing up against your skin, but by hour three it’s gonna hurt like something.” 

Peter drinks it all in, tries to commit to memory every moment, every little joke, every thumbs up and back clap. He's never seen Mr Stark in his workshop before, Peter realises; never encountered Mr Stark quite like this — relaxed and in his element, excited to show Peter things. 

"Think this would work?" Mr Stark asks, stepping back from FRIDAY's projection and rotating it with a flick of a finger. 

Peter looks up at the model and then over at Mr Stark, his face bathed in blue light and the corners of his eyes crinkling with the sheer pleasure of making something. And Peter is filled, all of a sudden, with gratitude for this rare and precious thing he's been given: a quirk of reality; a side effect of Harry Osborn's plan. When he goes back, he thinks, at least he'll have this.

“Yeah,” says Peter.

"Shall I proceed to fabrication, boss?" FRIDAY asks. 

Mr Stark cocks his head to one side. "Just the composite textile colours please, FRIDAY," he tells her. "I was thinking we could do the rest old-school."

And so, they make a suit. 

It's got the colour scheme Peter proposes, and the lens upgrades Mr Stark recommends, and the textile composite that they tested for durability by shooting it with every projectile they could think of. 

"Give it a shot," Mr Stark says at every turn — before they 3D print each lens component; when the time comes for Peter to laser cut the fabric. He demonstrates a little, and then asks things like, "How do you think you'd do that?" 

He doesn't say, _when I'm not around_ , because he doesn't need to. It's implied in every instruction he gives Peter, in the hard, sad look Peter glimpses on his face while they’re installing a section of circuitry.

It’s close to midnight when they finally finish. 

“How do you like it, kid?" says Mr Stark, as his two robot arm assistants fit the suit onto a diagnostic mannequin for FRIDAY to run some tests. 

"It's perfect, Mr Stark," Peter replies.

"Funny, because that's just what I was thinking," says Mr Stark, and he's not looking at the suit either.

\---

 **Spideywatch** retweeted  
**ron lewis** @ronsssss  
Spidey spotted wrestling a green goblinette in grand central… feels just like 2023 again #spideywatch

 **Spideywatch** retweeted  
**Preethi M** @preethigood  
Just lived my early 2020s nyc dream of being rescued by Spider-man… but now am stuck to a roof while he and Doc Ock are fighting one block away #spideywatch

 **Spideywatch** retweeted  
**Sarah Xu** @yexu  
Omg is Spider-man okay?? he just had a bus thrown at him!!  
[30s video]

\---

"Now, what I _really_ want," Mr Stark says, "is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

There is a mid-sized commercial kitchen in Mr Stark's hangar compound, because of course there is. Mr Stark wanders into the walk-in refrigerator and emerges with an armful of items that could possibly go into any number of sandwiches that are not peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. 

"FRIDAY, locate bread," says Mr Stark, unloading everything on a nearby countertop and surveying his loot. "And also peanut butter. And jelly." He throws up his hands. "That's the whole sandwich. Why do we have parma ham and gherkins and fifteen types of cheese but none of the basic elements of a PB&J?"

"Wrong fridge, boss," FRIDAY says, managing to sound both sympathetic and amused at the same time. A nearby wall panel pops open, revealing a smaller cabinet.

Mr Stark squints at it. "Remind me why I thought it was a good idea to conceal food in my own workshop."

"You said, 'find a way to keep the protein bandits out of my stash'," FRIDAY tells him.

"Hm," Mr Stark replies, pulling out peanut butter and jam, and bread. "Sounds about right." He unscrews the top of the peanut butter and sighs. "Someone's been in this."

"Captain Rogers stopped by after using the gym," FRIDAY says. "I asked him to leave you at least a third."

"So you've been _aiding and abetting_ said bandits?" says Mr Stark, as he pulls out two plates from a drawer and waggles them at FRIDAY.

"I assumed you were mainly referring to Sergeant Barnes and Mr Parker," FRIDAY replies. "The other Mr Parker," she adds.

"Oh, now it's my fault for not specifying," says Mr Stark, with significantly less outrage now that he's distracted by the task of sandwich construction. "Hey, Pete, you want any of that fancy stuff?"

Peter, who has just been leaning against a nearby counter watching this exchange in sleepy fascination, stands up straight. "Uh, I'm good with whatever you're making."

"What I'm making," Mr Stark says, "is delicious."

He hands Peter a plate. It has whales on it. 

"Thanks," says Peter. He points towards the gherkins and parma ham and the fifteen cheeses still lying on the other bench. "Do you want me to go put back all that other stuff?" 

Mr Stark glances up, surprised. He points at Peter. "FRIDAY? This one is _not_ a bandit."

"Duly noted, boss," FRIDAY replies.

After Peter has put everything away and Mr Stark has finished making two more sandwiches, they sit down to eat at the very sturdy-looking dining table that's somehow pushed between a shelf full of wing and shield prototypes and a tower of storage boxes labelled 'party supplies'. Peter bites into his sandwich and discovers that he's actually ravenous. 

"So I'm guessing we never got to do this in your timeline," Mr Stark says, sliding the plate with the other two sandwiches towards Peter as Peter practically inhales his current one. "Building a suit, enjoying what's left of my food after Steve 'Gee whiz Tony you made a gym for me' Rogers has gone through my larder."

Peter, still chewing, shakes his head. Mr Stark was right; he's managed the perfect ratio of jelly to peanut butter to bread, and it's delicious.

"Well, if it's of any comfort, I never did this with you, either — other you," Mr Stark tells Peter. "Never a good time, et cetera. You know how it is: kid goes off to college, discovers the world, fights his professor and his roommate’s dad who both happen to be evil villains, that sort of thing."

"Whoa," Peter says, and makes a mental note to ask other Peter which professor and which roommate.

"And then," Mr Stark continues, "you wake up one morning and realise he’s made his own suit and joined a rival corporation owned by one of the aforementioned evil villains." 

He says it like it’s a complaint but there's also a certain amount of pride in Mr Stark's voice — _made his own suit_ — and maybe also just a little wistfulness. And for a single moment Peter is desperately jealous of other Peter, who has had the privilege of time, the luxury of having his relationship with Mr Stark grow and settle into something so comfortable.

Then he feels guilty for thinking that, and guiltier still when he thinks about those months spent hiding away being miserable while the rest of the Avengers tried to make sense of a world thrown into chaos twice over. 

“But that’s how it goes — I guess growing up is something you kind of need to figure out for yourself,” Mr Stark continues. “And look, he did great. You’ll do great. You’re a good kid, and you’ve got _heart_ , which is something I never imagined myself saying to someone, by the way, but here we are, I guess Cap did rub off on me after all these years—”

“I stopped being Spider-man, Mr Stark,” Peter blurts out. “After you— after the funeral. I tried, but I just couldn’t.”

He would dream sometimes, in those months, of the heat and confusion of battle, of swinging out of that portal and realising, all of a sudden, that he didn’t have his web shooters, or that the gauntlet he thought he was clutching was nothing but air. He would find himself back in his old bedroom from when he was fifteen, on that afternoon Mr Stark had come to recruit him, only this time Mr Stark wouldn’t say a word; would only silently reach for the suit and firmly tug it from Peter’s hands, his eyes cold and disappointed. 

“Hey, kid,” says Mr Stark. “Pete. Are you listening?”

Peter looks down at his knees. Nods. 

“It’s not about Spider-man,” Mr Stark says. “It was never just about Spider-man— well, I mean. Maybe it was, at first, but, uh, desperate times—” He stops. “Okay, maybe this will be a terrible analogy — completely unworkshopped, Pepper says I probably should give these things a little more time to simmer — but here goes.” Mr Stark takes a deep breath. 

“Before I made the suit, in that cave in Afghanistan, someone made sure my heart was right, first.” Mr Stark pauses, seemingly to reconsider this. “I mean, he literally had to put an electromagnet in my chest to keep shrapnel from reaching my atrial septum, so there were a lot of things _wrong_ at that point, technically. But he kept it ticking, and then I kept it ticking. And _then_ I built the suit.” 

“You had _shrapnel_ in your _chest_?” says Peter, looking up sharply. 

Mr Stark blinks at Peter. “Have I not mentioned this? I feel like I must have mentioned this.” He shakes his head. “Anyway, the point is that I put an arc reactor in my chest _before_ I was in any shape to build the suit, and lots of stuff happened after that. And essentially what I’m trying to say is that you — and I mean you as in Peter Parker; not Spider-man, not the Avenger — _you_ need to be okay. Above anything else. That’s the starting point. That’s what I— that’s what we care about.” 

There is silence for a few seconds, while Peter looks back down at his knees and tries to blink away the tears blurring his vision. He hadn’t thought he needed to hear this, but now that he has, it feels like something’s been lifted away from him after months and months of willing himself to be Spider-man again but feeling his limbs turn to lead at the thought. 

Mr Stark leans back in his chair. “Wow. I’ve really not done this in a while and it shows.”

Peter glances up at Mr Stark and, realises, for the first time, that it’s possible for Mr Stark to look nervous about screwing something up. And Peter thinks back, all of a sudden, to after the Staten Island ferry, to the donut ship — and wonders for the first time if what he thought was annoyance in Mr Stark’s face might actually have been worry, or fear. __  
  
There are so many things Peter wants to say, but he doesn't know where to start. So instead he just points at the last peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “Can I eat that?”

“Yeah,” Mr Stark replies, looking slightly relieved. “It’s all yours.”

“Thanks, Mr Stark,” Peter says quietly.

Mr Stark reaches over and pats Peter on the back. "Any time, kid."

\---

 **MJ:**  
Baby Pete  
since you asked  
sending you the details for my reading this Wednesday  
[image]

Thanks!! I’ll be there :)  
Should I ask Peter if he can come too?

 **MJ** is typing…

 **MJ:**  
nah  
he probably won’t show

[crying cat face emoji]

 **MJ:**  
[alien emoji]

\---

"The most important thing about the suit," other Peter says, "is whether it rides up in the crotch."

Between the ice packs pressed to other Peter's black eye and bruised jaw, it's hard for Peter to tell if he's joking. He certainly sounds serious enough.

"But if you're gonna get hit in the face by a bus, it probably makes no difference," Cap adds, bringing out an extra cushion so other Peter can prop up his foot.

The good news is that other Peter is healing up fast after his encounter with an escaped Doc Ock and Harry Osborn's army of goblin robots. The bad news is that while everyone had been caught up in that fight, Harry Osborn was able to steal the prototype recursive arc reactor that he probably needs to power his inter-dimensional portal. 

"Also it seems like his grand plan is to get Norman Osborn into this timeline," says other Peter, "so if we screw anything up we'll get _two_ Green Goblins. And probably also a rift in the space-time continuum."

"Why would he want to do that?" Peter asks.

Other Peter shrugs. "I guess the fact that he's spent the past six years thinking the Avengers killed his father probably has something to do with it."

"But that's not true, is it?"

"No," says Cap. "Norman Osborn's formulation of the goblin serum basically overloaded his heart. But we decided at the time that it was better not to tell Harry the truth about his father.”

“And that’s worked out _so_ well,” other Peter adds, trying to reach across the couch and wincing. 

"I really don't think you're up for doing night patrol today," says Cap, handing other Peter his phone.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," says other Peter. "But I kind of need to. All that post-supervillain attack crime isn't going to fight itself."

“Well, I talked to Bucky and Wanda—” Cap begins.

“Listen,” other Peter says. “I’m okay, seriously. I’ll just sit here another half an hour for my ribs to heal up and I’ll be ready to go.” 

“You will not be ‘ready to go’, buddy, you’re on two separate painkillers,” says Cap. “Of course you think you’re okay.”

“What if I helped?” says Peter, then immediately ducks his head as other Peter and Cap look over at him. “I, uh, I have a suit now, and, I've fought in space, I think I could get by.”

Cap and other Peter pause for a moment to consider this.

“He’s seventeen,” says Cap in an undertone.

“I was younger when I started,” other Peter mutters back.

“But we all decided that probably wasn’t ideal—”

“I _know_ , but he’s not fifteen, he’s seventeen—”

“I can hear you, you know,” Peter says, “I’m literally four feet away from you, watching you discuss this.”

Other Peter removes the ice pack from his eye so he can look at Peter properly. “If you’re really offering, I’m not gonna say no,” he says. “But please don’t feel like you have to.”

“Are you sure about this?” Cap asks Peter.

Peter takes a deep breath. “I’ve spent so much time feeling that I have to be Spider-man,” he tells them. “But this kind of the first time in a while that I actually _want_ to.” 

\---

Hi Mr Barnes, this is Peter!  
Parker.  
Other Peter Parker.  
From another dimension?

 **the winter soldier** :  
[9s voice note]  
[7s voice note]  
im cycling

Ok! I’ll just meet you at the rondezvous point then!  
*rendezvos  
*rendezvous  
Sorry!

\---

Night patrol in Manhattan is a little like night patrol in Queens, except the buildings are a lot taller and also the Winter Soldier insists on cycling furiously through the streets below him. 

“Like, if I fall, are you supposed to catch me with your metal arm?” Peter asks, as they head towards a reported break-in in Chelsea.

“Don’t abuse the comms, kid,” says the Winter Soldier, skidding round a corner on his rented citi bike.

"Why don't you use a motorcycle or something?" Peter asks. "Like Batman."

The Winter Soldier sighs. "Batman's a fictional billionaire who doesn't have to worry about his carbon footprint."

"Good point," Peter replies. "Sorry I'm talking so much, it's just that I'm kind of excited and this new suit is grea— _whoa_ —" 

He misjudges the elasticity of other Peter's current web formulation and overswings, almost crashing into a nearby window. 

"Hey, pal, are you sure you're okay?" asks the Winter Soldier.

"I'm good!" says Peter, climbing up to a nearby ledge and leaping off again. "I'm just not really used to being this high up, and Peter's web fluid is a little different. But basically I'm fine!"

"I thought Pete said he gave you the tutorial," the Winter Soldier says.

"Uh, he told me to use lots of baby powder and to do some warm up stretches," Peter replies. "Was that the tutorial?"

Winter Soldier mutters something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like "save me."

"Well, he _was_ in a bit of a hurry because he was preparing to go for MJ's thing," says Peter. "That mixed media reading she has in Cobble Hill today?"

The Winter Soldier skids to a halt. "He's _going_?"

"Yeah," says Peter, swinging one-handed towards the next block. "I sent him the details. Thought it might be nice if he showed up for once."

"Wow," says the Winter Soldier. "Well done, kid."

"You think?" asks Peter, with a little surge of pride.

"Yeah, those two've been dancing around each other for ages, it's excruciating."

"I hate to interrupt, but you're two blocks away from your destination," Karen tells them.

"Thanks, Karen," says Peter.

"It looks like it's a team of five armed men," says Karen. "Two of them are attempting to access the office building via its third floor window. The other three are waiting at the side entrance with what's probably their getaway van."

"Okay, kid, how do you think we should run this," says the Winter Soldier.

"Uh, I guess the three at the side door are waiting for the other two to get in and disable the security?" Peter says. 

"Good," says the Winter Soldier. "And?" 

"We should take out the three outside and then, uh, come at them from separate entrances?"

"You've got yourself a plan, kid," the Winter Soldier replies.

They do exactly that: the Winter Soldier sneaks up on the three guys at the side entrance and knocks one out before they even know he's there.

"Hey, fellas," he says, as the other two turn, guns trained on him. At the very same moment, Peter webs up the one on the right and the Winter Soldier knocks away the other guy's gun.

"So that was the easy part," the Winter Soldier tells Peter. "Now let's get the other two." 

It's simply a matter of Peter taking the window entrance the other two guys used, while the Winter Soldier breaks in from the roof. They each head towards where Karen's scans indicate the guys are currently at.

The room is an open plan office. The guys are holding another dude at gunpoint. 

“Come on, guys, I’ve got baby twins and everything,” the man currently being held at gunpoint says. He kind of looks a little familiar, but Peter doesn’t have time to try to place him. 

“I’m in position,” he tells the Winter Soldier.

"Tough luck, buddy,” growls one of the thugs. “You’re coming with us whether you like it or not.” 

“ _Go_ ,” says the Winter Soldier. Peter kicks open the ventilation shaft grill the same time the Winter Soldier busts through the doors of the office. 

The two thugs don't even get to fire a shot. Peter lands right on top of the first one, webbing his gun, and the Winter Soldier takes the other one out with someone's coffee mug.

"Are you okay?" Peter asks, when they've restrained both thugs and Karen has confirmed that police are arriving in a minute. 

"Yeah, thanks guys," says the dude they just saved, and Peter suddenly realises where he's seen him before.

"Are you _David Liu_?"

"Uh, yeah?" says David Liu. "Do you know me?"

 _I kind of received all your messages for about a week_ , is what comes to Peter's mind, but what comes out is a yelp of pain when the Winter Soldier treads heavily on Peter's foot. 

"I uh — just read your nameplate," says Peter, hopping on his other foot and pointing at the corner of David Liu's desk, which thankfully does say 'David Liu'.

"Oh, okay," says David Liu. "I mean, we kind of did meet before, a couple of years back. When I was at Oscorp and you rescued us from Harry. Who, by the way, is back on his bullshit."

"How so?" asks the Winter Soldier.

"Well, he just tried to kidnap me, for one thing," David Liu tells them. "These guys said something about him wanting to gather his Party Lab team to help him with his plan or whatever."

Peter makes a face. "What's a Party Lab?"

The Winter Soldier clearly knows, because he whips out his phone and starts furiously typing a message.

"Just his sad minions at Oscorp," David Liu replies. "Nobody actually called it the Party Lab, by the way, except Harry. It was the worst, I'm so glad I quit."

"We gotta go, buddy," the Winter Soldier tells Peter. "He might be targeting the other members right now."

"Yeah, that sounds about right," says David Liu. "Here, let me give you their names."

He writes them down on a post-it for Peter. The Winter Soldier hovers impatiently, turning to sprint from the office the moment David Liu hands Peter the list. 

"What's the hurry?" Peter asks, almost crashing into the green android mascot in the lobby as they tear out of the building.

"Harry Osborn's kidnapping his old team," says the Winter Soldier. "That includes _Peter_."

Peter looks down at David Liu's post-it. 'Peter Parker' is third on the list.

\---

**Shawarma buddies  
**   
_Messages sent on StarkChat are secured with end-to-end encryption, whatever that is. Actually, you should probably tap for more info._

**scary spice:**  
fellas the number I just added is young pete  
harry osborn is kidnapping his old oscorp team  
sending over names:  
[Photo]

 **tony stank:**  
FRIDAY's locating them right now.

 **birb captain:**  
Sorry I can’t assist, on a mission in Symkaria now.  
Any news from Peter?

 **scary spice:  
**our pete is not responding

 **glinda:**  
Four goblinettes just attacked a cafe pub in Cobble Hill maybe 10mins ago.

 **scary spice:**  
MJ just shared her location  
young pete and I are on our way

\---

MJ's phone leads them to an unused industrial warehouse in Brooklyn that, according to the Winter Soldier, was previously a popular underground party venue. 

"How do you know this?" Peter asks, as they land on the roof of the adjacent building, the Winter Soldier having docked his citi bike some blocks away and conceded that Peter giving him a lift might be the fastest way there.

"Pete used to have to go pull his boss out of here in the mornings," the Winter Soldier replies. He pulls out a reconnaissance drone from one of his many pockets and launches it. "To get him to meetings on time."

Peter winces. "Why did he apply to Oscorp again?"

"That's a conversation you and him can have later, pal," the Winter Soldier replies, as the full scan results of the building load up on his phone. 

Harry Osborn appears to have set up some kind of makeshift lab on the second storey of the warehouse. Apart from him, there are ten other guards arranged at various entry points around the building, as well as four people restrained in chairs, two of whom must be other Peter and MJ. The Winter Soldier hits a button to allow them to listen in.

"...gotta help me out, dudes," Osborn is saying. "I lost Doc Ock again and he was the only one who could help me figure out the portal."

"Harry," says a woman patiently, "I don't think any of us are experts in this field. Arun basically designs solar panels and who the fuck knows what Peter does, honestly."

"Thanks, Jen, that's really nice of you to say," other Peter replies. "But it's kind of true."

"Wanda and Vision arrive in five minutes," the Winter Soldier tells Peter.

"Should we go in?" Peter asks the Winter Soldier. 

"Not yet," the Winter Soldier replies "But we can get in position. You take the south entrance on the roof and I'll stand by to take care of the guys on the first floor."

"Okay," Peter says, peering at the roof; when he turns back, the Winter Soldier is already slithering off down the side of the building they are on.

"But I've got all the plans here, and you guys are really smart," says Osborn. "That's why I hired you! To figure stuff out!"

Peter swings over to the roof of the warehouse and lands as silently as possible on the parapet. He webs up the guard positioned nearest to him and then creeps along the parapet to take out the other one.

"Harry, you kind of grabbed me in the middle of the only second Tinder date I’ve managed to have in three months," the other hostage — Arun — is still saying. "Do you know how hard it is to get a second date for these things?"

"Yeah," says Jen. "Arun's been talking about this dinner for a week— oh my God!"

On the drone feed, Osborn has grabbed the fourth figure — MJ — and is pointing something at her head.

"Don't hurt her!" other Peter shouts.

"Guys, calm down, okay?" Osborn is saying.

Peter reaches the other side and webs up the second guard. 

“Roof’s clear,” he tells the Winter Soldier. 

“Good,” the Winter Soldier replies. “Get inside the roof door and stand by. I’ll give you the signal once Wanda and Vision are in position.”

"You literally have that chick in a headlock!" Jen bursts out.

"Yes, because I need you guys to calm down and _help me get my father back_ ," says Osborn. "I didn't want to do it this way but it looks like I have to, guys, and I'm sorry. Do it, or Peter's girlfriend dies."

"We're not dating—" MJ says.

"...it's complicated—" other Peter says at the same time.

"I don't care!" Osborn shouts, and there's a desperate edge to his voice now that's kind of chilling.

"Look," Jen says. "Harry, we'll give it a shot. Can you let Pete's friend go for a sec? No? Okay. We'll give it a shot, but we can't guarantee we'll figure it out, alright?"

"That's what I wanted to hear, team," says Osborn, dragging MJ's chair towards a window. "You guys get to work, and I'll just be here with Peter's not-girlfriend. And if you try anything funny—" he makes a shooting gesture.

"Oh my God," other Peter says to MJ, while one of Osborn’s henchmen come to untie them, "this is _literally_ what I was talking about, just so you know. I said it would happen, that it was just a matter of time, and—"

"So you decided the best solution was just to cut me out of your life?" MJ retorts.

"I didn't cut you out," other Peter says, "I was just trying to give us some space—"

"Whatever," says MJ. “You don’t get to decide what’s best for me _without even consulting me_. I can take care of myself.”

“Guys—” Osborn says. “Guys, do you want to take a time-out—”

“—you are _literally_ being held at gunpoint,” other Peter explodes. “In what universe is that taking care of yourself?” 

“In this one,” says MJ. There is a zapping sound, and Osborn collapses onto the ground, limbs jerking from electric shock.

“I guess that’s the signal,” says the Winter Soldier. 

Everything happens at once, after that. Peter drops into the second floor through the roof door and frees other Peter, who immediately runs for MJ to drag her away from Osborn. Osborn wrenches away the electric token MJ must have stuck on him and struggles to stand. The Winter Soldier bursts in from the main entrance, taking out the two extra guards stationed at the door, while Scarlet Witch straight-up crashes through the window and encases Osborn in a grip of pure energy. 

“Whoa, it’s the Avengers!” Arun exclaims.

“I knew you guys would try to stop me!” Osborn shouts. “But you’ve made a terrible mistake. This whole place is rigged to blow—”

“Were you talking about this?” says Vision, phasing through the floor with an armful of explosives.

Osborn sags visibly. “Yeah. I was talking about that.”

“Harry,” other Peter says, going over to Osborn. “You really need to get help.” 

“I don’t know, Pete,” says Osborn. He sounds like he might be crying behind his mask. “Seriously, I’m such a mess, and like, everyone in prison is like, some sort of hard core supervillain—”

“ _What_ is going on,” says Peter under his breath. 

“Honestly, nobody knows,” MJ tells him. “This shitshow has been happening since they were roommates in college.”

“And Professor Octavius said he had this great plan—”

“Yeah, well, I mean Professor Octavius also tried to ‘harness the power of the sun’ in the basement underneath the School of Business,” says other Peter.

“I know, I know,” says Osborn. “But he said I could get my dad back, and like, how great would it be to have old Norm back, you know? Regain our company, crush the Avengers…” 

“Your dad was a cool dude,” other Peter tells Osborn. “But he’s dead, man. I don’t think you could get him back the way you think you can. He just — he wouldn’t be the same. He wouldn’t be _your dad_ , you know?” 

“I know, bro,” says Osborn, sniffing wetly. “I know.”

“Look, I’d give you a hug and everything but like, you’re surrounded by an energy forcefield,” says other Peter. 

“Let’s wrap this up, shall we?” says the Winter Soldier. 

“I’m sorry I kidnapped you, Pete,” Osborn tells other Peter. “And your maybe-girlfriend, she seems nice even though she zapped me—”

“Fuck you, Harry, we’ve been introduced like _five times_ ,” MJ calls. 

“But I really needed to do this,” says Osborn, and Peter feels his spidey sense go off.

Twenty goblin robots burst through the building on gliders. 

“Come on, my dudes!” Osborn shouts, “Kill the Avengers!” 

Everything descends into mayhem. Scarlet Witch is forced to drop Osborn when two goblin robots come flying straight at her, while Vision has to use his forehead laser to zap the ones coming towards him while still holding on to all the explosives he’s gathered. Peter webs Jen and Arun out of the flight path of another. 

“Peter!” MJ shouts, and Peter turns to see Osborn grabbing other Peter and dragging him towards the portal device.

“You were here when I turned it on the first time,” says Osborn, leaping on top of his glider with other Peter still in a headlock. “You need to help me fix it, dude—"

Peter’s running towards them before he knows it, making a running leap and webbing the bottom of Osborn's glider on the way up. His feet barely touch the ceiling before he kicks off of it, flipping the glider from under Osborn and twisting round to dropkick Osborn straight in the chest. 

“Nice,” says other Peter.

“I learned from the best,” Peter replies. 

Osborn staggers to his feet, raising one hand to shoot something at them—

A large grey blur, possibly the size of a small cat, flaps in through the broken window and hits Osborn right in the head, knocking him to the ground. 

Peter webs Osborn up as quickly as he can, making sure to pin his arms as well. 

“What the hell,” says other Peter, looking at the feathered projectile righting itself on the ground. “Is that a _pigeon_?” 

\---

 **New York Daily News** @NYDailyNews  
Hero pigeon saves Avengers in fight with Green Goblin nydn.us/4DJqxBo

 **Reuters Top News** @Reuters  
Green Goblin apprehended after kidnapping former Oscorp employees reut.rs/8Dv9Zw5

 **The Daily Bugle** @dailybugle  
Spidey damages Brooklyn warehouse!!! bug.le/5wMzPa

 **MJ** @therealmichellejones  
hey all you gorgeous hearts, just wanted to let you know that i am okay and well, thank you for your love and concern. @atlasreview and I are planning another session since we were rudely interrupted, so watch this space!

\---

"So when the Black Widow came by to film that urban camouflage video with Cap," MJ says, "she gave me a couple of zappy souvenirs."

"Nicely done," says Scarlet Witch, high-fiving MJ through MJ's shock blanket.

They are back at the Avengers Facility now, which had taken more than a little manoeuvring so that Jen and Arun wouldn't realise that other Peter and MJ were not in fact going to "another hospital". Peter, as is customary now, has helped order takeout during the Quinjet flight there.

"I was confused as to why you had chosen to have an argument right then," says Vision. "But now I see it was a classic case of misdirection."

"Was it, though?" MJ says, glancing over at other Peter, who has somehow managed to get another black eye on top of his already-healing one. 

"Uh," says other Peter, looking like he very badly wants to start talking about trains. 

"Guys, the food's here," Peter interrupts. "I got us tacos."

"Tacos!" Vision exclaims in a pleased voice, while the Winter Soldier scrapes his spoon around the bottom of the peanut butter jar.

 _You guys should talk_ , Peter mouths at other Peter, while everyone else heads over to the dining room. 

_Don't tell me what to do_ , other Peter mouths back.

"You guys know I can lip read, right?" says MJ.

"I'm just gonna go," Peter tells them, and shuts the door behind him.

In the dining room, Scarlet Witch and Vision are arranging two tacos and a quesadilla into a precarious tower on a plate. 

"We made you a taco cake, Pete," says Scarlet Witch. "To celebrate your first mission."

"I had nothing to do with that," says the Winter Soldier. "But you did good, kid."

Something warm and twisty settles in Peter's chest. "Thanks, guys," he tells them, ducking his head. "Wow, this is really… uh. Great structural integrity."

"Thank you," Vision replies gravely. "I'm glad you like it."

They eat silently after that, too exhausted and hungry to make conversation. After another five minutes or so, MJ and other Peter emerge from the conference room. 

"How did—" Vision begins.

"OW!" Peter yells, as both his feet get tread on simultaneously.

"Sorry—" says the Winter Soldier.

"...wrong foot," the Scarlet Witch says at the same time.

"Hi," says MJ with slightly forced brightness, sliding into an empty seat and reaching for a taco. "I'm starving."

"I uh," says other Peter. "Just need a sec to go check on… a thing."

He turns and heads off down the corridor. 

There's a couple of seconds in which the Winter Soldier and Scarlet Witch conduct some kind of silent conversation with each other using only eyebrows and head jerks. 

"Um, guys," says Peter, standing up. " _I'll_ go, alright?"

He grabs one of the takeout boxes and heads off in search of other Peter. "Hey, FRIDAY," he says once he's in the corridor, "is he heading up to the roof?"

"That's correct," FRIDAY replies.

He finds other Peter perched on the roof of the building with his legs dangling off the side above the giant Avengers "A" symbol. 

"Hey," Peter says. "I brought you some food."

"Oh, thanks," says other Peter, not turning around. "Are you gonna insist that we talk about what happened?"

"Um, not if you don't want to?" Peter replies, going over to join him. "We could also discuss why you spent an entire year working for Harry Osborn."

"Ugh, don't even get started on that," says other Peter, peering down into the box of food. "Nice, you brought up the fish tacos. Those are—"

"—the best," Peter finishes. 

"Yeah," says other Peter.

They demolish the tacos in silence, and split the last one between them. 

"Thanks for your help, by the way," says other Peter. "You did great today."

"Thanks," Peter replies, rubbing the back of his neck. "Although I guess you might have avoided getting kidnapped if not for me."

"Nah, I'm sure Harry would've found a way eventually," says other Peter. "But maybe MJ wouldn't have gotten dragged into it, I guess."

"MJ's pretty great, isn't she," says Peter.

"Yeah," other Peter replies. "And don't think I didn’t notice how you just tried to sneak in a little segue to how my talk with her went."

"Did I?" Peter asks, trying his best to look innocent.

Other Peter laughs, but there’s something a little sad about it.

"It didn't work out, did it?" Peter asks.

"Well, I guess it depends on what you mean by that," says other Peter. "Like, obviously MJ wasn't going to just wait around forever for me to get over myself. So she basically said she's moved on and it's a no to a relationship."

"I'm sorry to hear that," says Peter.

"But in a way it's good that we talked about it," says other Peter. "Because we've got a really great friendship and all this weirdness has kind of been getting in the way of it. So I guess in that sense, maybe it did work out."

"Wow," says Peter, after a pause. "Grown-up relationships are complicated."

"Yeah, I guess," says other Peter, stuffing the last half of a taco into his mouth.

"Do you think she'd have said yes, if you'd asked her earlier?" Peter asks.

Other Peter shrugs. "Maybe," he says, and Peter pretends not to notice how he's blinking back tears, how he turns his face away exactly the same way Peter would.

Later, after they've returned inside and helped finish up the rest of the food the Winter Soldier hasn't yet annihilated, Peter glances round in the middle of clearing the empty takeout boxes and sees MJ and other Peter by the coffee machine in the kitchen. MJ says something that makes other Peter laugh despite himself, and they exchange the briefest of side hugs.

"They'll be okay," says Scarlet Witch, handing Peter a stack of plates. 

"Vision, on the other hand…" says the Winter Soldier. 

"I shall have to tink the couple hats I've been knitting," Vision intones, half phased through the table in sadness. "To replace the heart shapes with friendship snowflakes."

"Hang in there, pal," the Winter Soldier tells him. "You'll get through this."

\---

 **Wired | Culture**  
**_Captain America_ S01E05: A Dialogue-Heavy Tread Through The Sokovia Accords Fallout  
** _Budgetary constraints seem to have hamstrung production on the infamous Leipzig/Halle fight._  
  
This week’s one-hour episode of _Captain America_ devoted exactly seven and a half minutes to the actual altercation between the Avengers in Germany. The rest of the episode’s run-time was spent, frustratingly, on grim walk and talks as the Avengers debated the implications of the Sokovia Accords. _Read more_  
  
**Vulture | Overnights**  
**_Captain America_ Recap: Along Came Spidey**  
_Jamie Bell steals the show in the season’s penultimate episode._  
  
_Captain America_ has shone the most whenever it has given its characters the breathing room to really interact with one another. This was most evident at the midpoint of The Safest Hands, when a surprise appearance by Spider-man (Jamie Bell) brought some much-needed levity to the episode. _Read more_

 **The Guardian | Captain America: episode by episode  
** Captain America Recap: season one, episode five — The Safest Hands  
_A missed opportunity of an episode, saved only by an energetic guest appearance by Jamie Bell as Spider-man_  
  
“I can do this all day.”  
  
Perhaps you could, Cap, but spare a thought for the rest of us. I’m all for a talky, dense drama after the snappy shenanigans of the last few episodes, but forty minutes of the Avengers intoning things at each other did not make for a very compelling watch. _Read more_

\---

It takes Mr Stark less than a day to figure out Harry Osborn’s inter-dimensional portal, but he insists on scheduling in one last thing before Peter goes. 

_There is a LOT of cheese that needs finishing_ , he writes in the Avengers chat group. 

_Or you could really just say it’s a farewell party_ , Cap replies. 

_Exactly how much cheese are you talking about_ , War Machine adds.

And so the cheese/farewell party takes place a week later, in Mr Stark’s hangar. Most of the Avengers Peter has met are there, as well as MJ and May, who has returned from Ohio. 

"I'd forgotten what you looked like when you still got enough sleep," she says, seizing Peter by the shoulders and pulling him into the warmest of hugs.

"Thanks, May," says other Peter, around a mouthful of cheese and crackers.

Because it's a smaller affair than Mr Stark's usual parties, they are able to fit around the dining table (a Barnes original, apparently). Peter gets squashed in near the head of the table between the Falcon and Ms Potts, with the Black Widow and Cap across from him and Mr Stark beside Ms Potts at the end. 

"How was Symkaria, Sam?" Ms Potts ask, as she passes him some roasted beets.

The Falcon and Black Widow exchange a look. "It got a little dicey," says the Falcon, "like, Natasha rappelling out of a helicopter mid-flight kind of dicey."

"All in a day's work, I would have thought," Cap says brightly, earning himself a fond elbow in the ribs from Black Widow that looks like it would really hurt. 

Happy emerges from the kitchen with his next batch of six grilled cheese sandwiches. "I'm pleased to announce that we have used our final whale plate," he says, to mixed cheers and groaning.

It is chaotic and messy and shouty: a lot of the shouting is done by Mr Stark, and the people at the other end of the table eat two servings of Happy's amazing grilled cheeses before realising that Peter's end have gotten none (cue more shouting). At one point everyone gets up so that the Winter Soldier can reluctantly give them a tutorial on crafting a dining table. Also MJ chairs a debate led by the Captains America on the merits of photonic versus actual shields, which is first interrupted by the Winter Soldier's controversial proposition of "Neither" ("Seconded," calls Black Widow, from where she's now curled up on the comfiest bean bag with a PB&J sandwich), and then for a second time by Happy discovering a stash of beluga whale ceramic bowls below the kitchen sink.

("Will we never be free of them?" Mr Stark bellows. 

"Tony I think I was there when you placed the order," War Machine tells him.)

So really, Peter thinks, It’s kind of perfect.

"All ready to go?" MJ asks Peter, after they’ve cleared all the food off the table and consumed a very delicious farewell cake.

Peter shifts over on the couch (also another Barnes original) so MJ can flop down next to him. "I don't know," he says. "I guess it was always going to feel weird, going back and like, not having… this." 

"Yeah," says MJ. "But there are people waiting for you, too."

Peter nods. "There are."

It won't be the same, he knows — how could it be? But there's excitement in that, too, in returning to a reality that's _his_ reality, for better or worse. He can't stay, as much as he thought he might have wanted to at the start. He can't linger here forever, like some sort of afterimage of other Peter.

Other Peter, incidentally, is now climbing up to the ceiling of the hangar so he can unfurl a banner. It is brightly coloured and features the same confident letters Cap uses for his Mayor Fisk protest signs — at least, that's based on what Peter is able to make out.

"Is it just me or did you guys get the measurements wrong?" asks Ms Potts, with some concern.

"Sorry it’s so small," Cap says. "We thought we were going to do this at the apartment.”

"It says: 'all the best, Peter'," other Peter calls from the ceiling. “And there’s like, pictures of stuff on it, like swole pigeon in this corner right here, and uh. Do you want me to continue describing it, or should I bring it down?”

“Oh, yeah,” says the Winter Soldier, “let’s just leave the banner hanging up on the ceiling so that nobody can read it.” 

“Thank you, Captain Grumpy,” Scarlet Witch tells him. 

“Thanks, guys,” Peter says. Later, he realises he’s been smiling so hard that his cheeks hurt. 

\---

**fyeahjbbarnes**

[video]

STEVE’S PLOT PART 4 IS HERE

#grthumbs #OG Cap #Steve’s Plot #Roommate Pete

  **mockingbird**  
  omg I am 2 minutes in and I just want to say that I love this man and his beautiful thriving tomato plants

    **marconi**  
    the season finale of HBO Captain America AND part 4 of Steve’s Plot all in the same week??? What did we do to deserve this

  **suchafullsea**  
  OMG ROOMMATE PETE APPEARED AT 4.03 AND HE IS ADORABLE, look at him just shuffling around in the background trying to be helpful and then ducking out of the shot the moment he realises he’s being filmed

    **buckybear**  
    Roommate Pete!!!! This is now my second favourite video after the one where OG Cap facetimed jbb and got yelled at

      **mockingbird**  
      I will never get over jbb yelling at OG Cap about measuring shelves

        **marconi**  
        also how is it that Roommate Pete doesn’t look a day over 17?

\---

They start up the portal at six in the evening on the following Saturday. Because it’s Mr Stark and not Harry Osborn who is calibrating the device, there is far less of a chance that a stray elbow dipped in at the wrong moment will result in any unintended interdimensional travel. 

“If my calculations are right — and they are,” says Mr Stark, “this should take you back to no more than five minutes after you were pulled from your dimension.” 

“Don’t forget your stuff,” says other Peter, handing Peter the plastic Ikea storage box that Peter’s been using to store all the things he’s accumulated since his arrival in this dimension. Inside it are two suits — the old one that Mr Stark has fixed, and the new one Peter made with Mr Stark. 

“Thanks,” Peter tells him. “For everything.”

“I’m gonna miss you, dude,” says other Peter, and it doesn’t get any less weird how their voices choke up in exactly the same way. 

“All set?” says Mr Stark. 

Peter tightens his grip on the storage box, and steps up to the platform. He’d thought he was ready, but now that he’s actually here he finds himself wondering if maybe he needs more time. 

“Hey, kid,” Mr Stark says, “It’s gonna be okay.”

Peter opens his mouth to speak and finds that he can’t, not through the lump in his throat.

“And if it isn’t, you could always engineer another sideways quantum leap.” Mr Stark turns to Peter, eyes bright. “Mind like yours, I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Just a universe away.” 

Peter makes a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob. 

“But seriously,” Mr Stark tells him, slinging an arm around Peter’s shoulders and gripping him tight. “You’re gonna be fine.”

Peter sets down the storage box and steps forward to give Mr Stark a proper hug. 

“Thank you,” he says, and wonders how it’s possible to be so glad and so wretched all at the same time. They pull apart, and Peter picks up the box again. 

“Happy trails, kid,” says Mr Stark, with a little wink.

And Peter laughs, and steps through.

 **The Daily Bugle** @dailybugle  
Spidey’s Frivolous Costume Changes!! bug.le/3cBtSe

* * *

> `**The New York Times** @nytimes`  
>  `The New Captain America, Samuel Wilson, Leads Post-Return Rebuilding Efforts`

He lands face-first in a pile of laundry, the storage box clattering to the floor. For a moment he just lies there, stunned and disoriented.

“Pete?” May calls. “Pete, is that you?”

Peter pushes himself out of his laundry pile and sits up. Takes in the state of his room, his saved Assassin’s Creed game still frozen on his laptop screen, the AP Biology homework sitting undone on his desk. 

May — his May — appears at the door of his room. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah,” says Peter, after a pause. “Yeah, I am.”

 

 **(a coda)  
**   
On account of the Avengers Facility having been destroyed, the Falcon is currently set up in an old SHIELD office. It takes Peter several weeks of texting Happy to finally get the address. 

“Why do I get the feeling you should probably be at school right now?” says the Falcon, when Peter shows up at his office. 

“We were given time out to work on our research projects,” Peter replies. “Mine involves feeding silkworms graphene, so I don’t really need to do much at the moment besides, you know, feeding them.” 

“O _kay_ ,” says the Falcon. “That doesn’t explain why you’re here right now.” 

Peter pulls a thumbdrive from his pocket and sets it down on the Falcon’s desk. “Someone told me you might like to have a look at this.”

“And what’s this, exactly?” 

“The schematics for a photonic shield,” Peter tells him. “I’m told it’s a lot easier to carry around than a vibranium one.” 

“Oh,” says the Falcon. “Wow. Thanks, I guess?” 

“No problem,” Peter replies, rising to leave.

“You seriously came all the way here just to give me that?” 

Peter shrugs. “Yeah, pretty much.” 

“Okay, well, I guess I’ll see you around, then,” says the Falcon, still looking somewhat befuddled.

“Yeah,” says Peter, with a grin. “I guess you will.”

**Author's Note:**

> Wow so um, this was... long.
> 
> Massive, massive thanks to forochel as always for reading through this monster of a story as it developed and for all their enthusiasm and encouragement. This would not exist without you!!
> 
> I started this series as a way of I guess dealing with all my anxiousness and feels about the MCU in general? And four stories in, after watching Endgame, I realised that this had become a little comforting universe of its own that Endgame!Pete might be able to slip away into, if only for a spell. While writing this, I found myself just being so very grateful to everyone who has taken the time to read the odd couples fics and for all the lovely comments, bookmarks and kudos people have left -- it's been such a joy, thank you so very much!
> 
> \---
> 
> The title of this fic is from _People Get Ready_ by The Frames, which was used in this stunning video by niyalune: [Avengers Get Ready](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14691486).


End file.
